Playing House
by Sour Schuyler
Summary: YGOIYYYH Written w. MAIDEN OF TIME AND SPACE Kat and Danielle were just two droll girls... with a house. Now? They've got whiny boyfriends, FAT house guests, and people beating up pieces of raining shrimp. Where did it go wrong? Ch 12: Yugi lives? How?
1. Default Chapter

Kat and I are really excited to post up this fic and we hope you review. :)

It was a quaint, whitewashed house, with pink rosebushes on either side of the walkway. A nice porch ran the whole length of the front of the house. In other words, it looked like the kind of house you would expect old people to live in… but of course, it was quite the opposite.

It was 333 Bluebird road. That was the address that a stalker would find if he were looking up how to find two teenage girls that were just a _little bit _zany. They were staying there, 'cuz that's what authoresses do.

Danielle was standing outside, in dark blue jeans that were baggy around her ankles; she had stuffed the bottoms of them into her sneakers, which were white Nikes with a navy blue check mark that made them look as if they had been smudged with paint.

She walked down the walkway, opened up the mailbox, and retrieved the mail. She stared at the flag. It was up. Was it supposed to be? She had no idea. Stupid complexities of the UPS! But she placed her hand on it anyway… Up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down! Up—oops.

"O.O" 'said' Danielle as the small, plastic red flag came off in her hand. "Oops." She looked both ways before opening up the mailbox and stuffing the flag inside.

"Yummy," said the mailbox, in the voice of Big Bunny.(1) "Thank you." Danielle smiled, patted the mailbox and headed back towards the door. When she reached for the knob, sifting through envelopes – most of which had infinitesimal significance – it swung open and hit her in the face. Stumbling back, she threw her hands up for balance, only to send all of the mail flying. It fluttered around her like billions of tax-deductible butterflies.

"What's in the mail today?" Kat inquired excitably. "Bills? Love-letters? Stuff? Magazines? A chipmunk?"

Danielle stood up and dusted off her pants, even though she had worn them for like, five days in a row. "Ooh, that last one would've been nice," she lilted, smiling even though she had just been knocked over.

"It actually happened once. A chipmunk went into my mailbox."

"Cool!" Danielle marveled.

"It attacked me."

"Oh…" Danielle blinked once before declaring, "I always knew they were eeeeeevil!"

Danielle started making weird hissing noises until she totally forgot about the chipmunks and what they were talking about 4 seconds later. She looked at cat with one of those blank, innocent anime looks. -

"…What were we talking about?" she asked. Kat sweat dropped.

"Umm… no clue."

"Oh. Did I tell ya I bought the Inuyasha movie and an uncut YGO DVD?" Danielle inquired. "Did I? Did I?"

"Calm down boy," Kat coaxed.

"I'm not a dog. And if I was, I wouldn't be a boy. But you'd probably neuter me anyway… that's freaky." Danielle shuddered. "Um… did I?"

Uhhh...nope." Kat sweat dropped. "Which Inuyasha? The one where Inuyasha kisses Kagome?"

Danielle looked like this: ooV "I didn't? Who did I tell then? And, no, I think that's the second... I believe I bought the first... 'Affections Touching Across Time' / 'Love that Transcends Time' and all that."

"Ah," said Kat.

"Ah?"

"Just… 'ah.'"

Danielle sweat dropped. "Be gentle, wise master," she said in a voice that made it sound like she was quoting something – even though she was just saying random rubbish.

Five minutes later, Danielle and Kat were standing in a basically bare living room. Danielle's mother had always told her that the living room faces the street, so it was the living room. Not the family room or den. No arguments, people.

"…Muh kitty's purring on my lap," Kat said. Danielle beamed.

"He's such a pretty kitty…" Yugi eyed the cat with a chary brow, conspicuous bandages wrapped around his legs… both of them, hindering his ability to walk. The cat yawned.

"Awwwww," said Danielle.

The kitty was purring. So was Hiei, though we're not quite sure why.

"I think my kitty's sick," Danielle was saying. "My mom claims he's been peeing everywhere... although I don't see any pee... although now I think I smell it because my mom's made me crazy."

Kat sweat dropped. It was just like Danielle to share something like that… Of course, Yugi was purring as well.

"My poor, poor Schuyler," Danielle went on to say. "U.U Diet's can be such a pain, even for such a wonderful cat." She stopped scratching Yugi under the chin, which put an end to his purring. Yugi then looked like he was about to cry.

Danielle suddenly looked waaaaaay too sparkly. She glomped him, basically jumping on him and making him hold her up like Shaggy holds up Scooby Doo. "I missed you!" She kissed him on the cheek and made him fall over."

"Hiei's been boring all week!" Kat complained. "All he does is watch TV and eat sweets!" She pointed at Hiei. "COUCH POTATO!"

" So how has Yugi been doing?" Danielle asked, completely ignoring the potential argument going on.

"Why don't you ask me?" asked Yugi in a muffled voice.

Danielle looked at him happily. "Quoi?" Yugi sweat dropped. Meanwhile, Kat and Hiei looked like the picture-perfect quarreling couple… which is probably an oxymoron that marriage counselors use. Is it? I don't know… I've never been married…

……Don't judge me.

"You're lazy!" Hiei grudged.

"You!"

"YOU!"

"Y-I want a snack."

"So do I…"

"How w's Yugi?" Danielle asked again. She was having just a bit of trouble trying to get her friends' attention. "Hellloooooo?" She waved her arms around. "Remember me? And Yugi?"

"You're squishing me," Yugi complained muffledly.

Danielle hesitated before saying, "...Whoooooom I just might decide to assail right now!"

"Attack his ribs," Hiei and advised. Kat looked freaked. So did Yugi.

"I love you Yugers!" Danielle announced. She hopped delicately off of him, just like she could never do in real life without falling on her butt like Jill Valentine(2), leaned over, and planted a kiss on his forehead. "Smooth."

"What's bellicose mean?" Yugi said with swirly eyes.

"War-like in nature," Danielle explained. "It's a vocab word that I took a quiz over today. I think I got a 100! Woo!" She danced.

"That means you failed," Yugi predicted.

"...Yugi, this is VOCAB. This is ME! A requisite for great writing is an exquisite and varied diction, ya know?"

"…Yeah, you're right, you probably did get a 100," Yugi admitted, quietly adding, "Loser."

"I get 80s… lots of them…"

"You missed the word 'lucky' onna! 'Lucky!'"

"Maybe I was just UNlucky!" Kat joked.

"You missed that word too."

"Ooh," Danielle said.

Yugi hissed, "Burn."

"Shut up!" Kat screamed, balling her hands into fists and brandishing them. "You don't even go to my school! You're probably dumb as a rock...maybe I shouldn't have said that to a guy who is a killer demon." Kat paled, deciding to turn around to run. But before that, something anti-dramatic happened.

"…Onna?" said Hiei. Kat gulped.

"Yes?"

"You do realize that even if you ran at full-speed, I could very easily catch up to you and squelch your guts right?"

"Yeah," Kat said in a small voice.

"He's going easy on ya," Danielle elucidated, as she massaged Yugi's shoulders. Yugi's shoulders had hit against the wooden floor… now there were dents."

Kat gulped. Seeing as Danielle was obviously wrong – she had to be! She's Danielle! – she turned to Senko. "What do I do?" she pleaded.

"O.O When was I here?" Senko wondered.

"Hell I know! Now speak fool!"

Danielle held her head in her hand. "Bad floors, plot holes in the rafters… and no furniture in the living room except for the computer. Why, man, why?"

"Don't ask me," advised Yugi.

"I wasn't going to."

"-.- Fine, then. Be that way."

"I love you," Danielle said suddenly. Yugi rolled his eyes at her and gave her the cold shoulder.

"Good to know…" He was tackled.

"Noooooo Yugi don't hate me I love you so much!" Danielle was trembling and nearly crying and grabbing on to the front of Yugi's navy blue school uniform.

Hiei rolled his eyes at his and Yugi's girlfriends' silliness. "...Kat, I'm not going to chase you. -.-' It wouldn't even be fun."

"That's not what you said in Kindergarten!" Kat said. Hiei rolled his eyes again. "Plus, even though you won't kill me, I feel your anger burning inside you."

"That's the indigestion I got from eating Yugi's tacos."

"Hey!" Yugi protested. "They were perfectly good tacos!"

Danielle looked at her friend Kat. "Ano, Katto-chan ka?"

"Nani?" Kat was still looking at Hiei. …As always…

"HEY BABE!" Roger flew in front the rafters, which were housing a plot hole, and nearly glomped Kat. But, Danielle appeared steamed. Her quirky muse had gotten loose again.

"Roger, not now! Go read a book or something!" she shouted.

"Sorry…" Roger left quietly. Danielle felt like smacking herself.

"Can I use the curtain?" Hiei inquired curiously and, it should be mentioned, cutely.

Danielle sweat dropped. "Sure, knock yourself out."

"No, I think I'll just use the curtain." Hiei took a makeshift shower curtain and set it up around him. It was light blue. Kat turned to her friend, finally paying her some attention.

"Yes?" she asked innocently. TOO innocently. Danielle stared at her oddly.

"Kat, will you please—"

Water and singing was heard from the shower curtain, as a rich, tenor voice reverberated throughout the room. It caused Danielle to hesitate. "Um… What was I… Oh yeah! Kat, could you please tell me what my ADORABLE, CONGENIAL, ABSOLUTELY BELOVED YUGI has been doing while I was gone?"

"Suck up," Yugi declared. He, by the way, was still getting his shoulders rubbed.

"It's working, isn't it?" Danielle grinned.

"Mmmm-hm!" Yugi replied happily. Danielle smiled.

Kat looked around nervously. "Uhhh……You won't get mad?"

Danielle narrowed her eyes. "Er… no…"

"Y…YUGI WAS WITH TEA! "

Yugi blushed. "TRAAAAAAAAAITOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!"

Yugi pointed accusingly at Kat. It was at that exact moment that the door blew off its hinges.

In a space rocket circling the Earth…

"What shall happen to Yugi?" wondered Mokuba, our narrator. Behind the shaggy-haired boy who desperately needed a hair cut and quite possibly a shower, Rebecca stuck her head out of a plot hole.

"Dun dun dun!" she said. They both smiled as they waited for the camera to turn off.

(1) Big Bunny – from a funny web site that we do not own or own the rights to so don't kill us -bows head in prayer-

(2) Jill Valentine – A girl in Resident Evil who falls on her butt a lot.


	2. Stuff keeps EXPLODING!

"What the hey?" Danielle yelled.

Yugi chuckled. "Hay is for—"

Danielle poked him, hard. "Don't say it, Yugi."

The edges of Yugi's smile sagged. "Okay."

Kat looked wide-eyed at the door. "NANI!" she screamed, as per usual.

Hiei unsheathed the sword we haven't seen before now, or bothered to mention, because we're just twisted like that.

"WHO GOES THERE?" He roared. Motioning with his head behind him, he told Kat, "Get behind me, onna."

Kat's eyes became sparkly orbs of dewdrops and fairydust, which we all know are just the prettier forms of garbage. "OK!" She pranced over to him. "Tra la la la la…"

Yugi sweat dropped. "If it wasn't for him, she'd probably be dead…"

Nobody was at the door. However, from the door BEHIND everyone that led into the kitchen, a giant figure emerged. A fat, fat, giant figure.

It was Bobasa.

"AHHHHH! It's hideous! Kat screamed.

"IT'S SANTA!" Danielle screamed, and she ran over to give Bobasa a hug. "Ew, your skin is all doughy..." She took a few steps backwards, stumbling a bit and coughing. Yugi took a few steps forward and caught her when she almost fell over.

"It's Babosa... " Aeris said in monotone.

"Bobasa!" Bobasa yelled.

"Wha'ever."

"Hey, you never do that to me!" Yugi pouted, jealous of the fact that Danielle had run to hug a fat, Egyptian stranger.

"WELL YOU'RE NOT FAT!" Danielle retorted, shoving him away from her.

Yugi sweat dropped. "Isn't that a good thing?" he murmured.

"Aeris, what are you doing in the house?" Danielle asked. "It's supposed to be for Kat and me…"

"I'm Kat's Yami," she retorted. "I go where I please."

Kat blurted, "Then why didn't you go in the shower with Yu-" Aeris's hand clamped on top of Kat's mouth.

"But you're ruining the fic!" Danielle countered. "LOOK AT THE CHILDREN!" Danielle grabbed Rebecca out of a plot hole and shoved her in front of Aeris. Rebecca sniveled.

"I lost my teddy…" she sobbed. "And Yugi was on a date with Tea! WAH!"

Danielle was too stupid to realize what people were saying about her Yugikins at the moment, but it was registering subconsciously.

"Look," Danielle sighed and ran her hand through her hair, "just get out, okay Aeris? I'll set you up on a date with Malik."

The Yami's eyebrows shot up.

Two minutes later, in Egypt...

Malik lifted up a tofu burger with his left hand. Isis squealed in depreciation.

"Ewwww! Gross!"(1)

"Shut up..."

"Fine." Ishizu then looked thoughtful. "I wonder how Bobasa is doing..."

"Don't know, don't care, and I'm not wearing clean underwear."

"Ewwwwwww! Grosser!"

"WELL AT LEAST I'M NOT LIKE ODION, AND I DON'T GO AROUND WEARING GIRLS PANTIES AND GIRLS BRAS!" Malik vociferated ferociously, pounding on the table.

Isis blanched. "Oh, that's true."

The phone rang.

Ten minutes later...

"Uh, hello, am I being ignored?" Bobasa waved his hand in front of Yugi's face. Yugi didn't blind.

"Who are you?" Hiei asked as he and Bobasa both sweat dropped.

"He's really fat…" Kat mumbled. She was still posted behind Hiei. Hiei snickered at her comment.

Bobasa gave them an appealingly pitiful look. "Aw, shut up. It's hard keeping your figure when you tomb really have any duties. That's why Shadi sent me away, you know. I'm a freeloader. Anyway, the mission that Master Shadi gave me is..." Bobasa reached behind his back to grab an item, but Danielle interjected again with, "It's SANTA!" and the whole 'hey, he's doughy!' thing happened all over again.

Bobasa sweat dropped. "…Whatever. Anyway, there's a secret treasure in your house."

"What kind of secret treasure?" inquired Yugi.

"A fuzzy one, a pretty one!" Bobasa sang, twirling his umbrella around.(2) "Ahem... I mean... yeah, a _cool _treasure. And plus, I'm supposed to stay here and make sure you kids aren't doing anything inappropriate for your ages."

A chorus of "AWWWWW, MAN!"s rung throughout the room.

Kat whispered loudly****"We gotta get him outta here!"

"He's not SO bad!" Danielle argued.

"--U" 'said' Hiei. "He is."

"No, I'm not, I'm useful! And look at what I can do!" Bobasa upchucked a key.

"…That was pointless," Kat sighed. Yugi shook his head sadly. "Yeah…"

Kat looked at Danielle, making frantic hand-movements as she explained, "Danielle, you won't be able to kiss Yugi—" Danielle gasped, "—or any other guy for that matter with him around!"

Hiei rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "I could just take out my sword and…"

Bobasa rolled his eyes. "Kissing is not inappropriate," he specified.

Kat looked at him hopefully. "What about making out?"

"I was a kid once too, ya know!" Bobasa countered.

Sarcasm oozed in Kat's voice as she said, "Yeah, when dinosaurs roamed the Earth!"

"Hey! I've made out with more people than you even _know, _so shut up!" Bobasa started sucking his thumb.

Yugi sweat dropped. "That is so totally TMI," he said, and he decided that maybe it was time to watch Dr. Phil.

"- Aw, Kat, he's nice!" Danielle lilted. "He just wants to make sure we don't do stuff that would make this an X-rated fan fic that our parents might read one day and go, 'O O HOLY CRAP!' " As Danielle demonstrated, she made her head pop off and vibrate, while her eyes bugged out. Then, inexplicably, it fit back on.s

"Poo." Kat pouted.

Yugi groaned loudly, "Maaaaan…" Danielle slapped him into next week, where Danielle-from-next-week slapped him all the way back. He had two giant handprints on his head, one on each cheek.

"Hn," Hiei agreed.

Bobasa sweat dropped. "Wow. Just how corrupt ARE you people?"

"Ooh, we're pretty corrupt," Danielle bragged. "You should see us on our bad days."

"But I will," Bobasa proclaimed cheerfully, "because I'm living here!"

Kat choked on a fork. "WHAT?"

Hiei looked at her oddly. "Where did that fork come from?"

Yugi narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "And where was she keeping it…?"

"Long story," Kat said.

"Ah," chorused Hiei and Yugi.

Danielle giggled and Yugi goggled at her garrulous giggling.

"So!" Bobasa said, "I'll just make myself at home..."

The giant fatty-fat-kid (and no, we don't mean Chris Griffin) took out two UBERlarge suitcases and paces off down the hall with them, the earth trembling underneath his feet.

Danielle stared after him. "Well, that was weird." The computer exploded. "NO! MY LOVE! MY ONE, TRUE LOVE!"

Yugi sweat dropped. "I thought I was your love."

Danielle ignored him. "I TOLD YOU SMOKING WAS BAD FOR YOU!"

As if in retaliation, the remains of the computer smoked like red-hot embers. "Hey," Kat said, "a jellybean!" She promptly picked one up and swallowed it. Hiei's eyes bulged. "Onna…"

"Well—" Danielle suddenly remembered something important. And so did Kat.

"Hey!" Kat yelled. "That's muh room Bobasa!" She stomped off after him.

Hiei sighed wearily. "I'll go help the onna…" His eyes suddenly lit up. "GET OUTTA HER ROOM!" He chased after Hiei with alacrity. Yugi and Danielle both shrugged.

"- That's so nice," Danielle said. Without warning she ran over to her short boyfriend and suddenly lifted him up by the collar, her eyes glowing red. "I have a bone to pick with you…" she warned.

"Gulp," Yugi… gulped.

In Kat's room, her bed exploded. In place of Kat's bed appeared Bobasa's bed which, besides being large to accommodate his ultra-big self, was actually quite neat. :)

Bobasa threw Kat's stuff out the window. Hiei gawked; "O.O Uhhhh…onna?"

Bobasa's stuff appeared as if by magic. "I'm Mary Poppins!" he said. "Ho ho ho!"

"IT'S SANTA!" Hiei could hear Danielle scream from the living room. His eyes shifted and rolled.

Kat began sobbing. "WAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" She's got some lungs on her, eh? Well, in order to avoid becoming dear, Hiei decided to threaten the cause of all this ruckus. He drew his sword again and pointed it at Bobasa.

"Huh? What is that?" Bobasa asked. He took out tiny reading glasses and leaned forward, until he nose almost touched the tip of Hiei's sword.

Hiei was enraged! "You... baka... I'm going to! To! ...Hey, I'm hungry." Okay, so maybe not really. Hiei shrugged, turned around and wandered off. A vase exploded.

"WHY DOES EVERYTHING KEEP EXPLODING!" Kat cried dramatically. "WHYYYYY?" Hiei continued to walk off. "GRRRRRR!"

Kat grabbed Hiei by the collar, pulled him up to her face, her eyes red and fangs bared. "Get.Him.Now.Shrimp-boy!"

"Ok—" Shrimp started to rain from the sky… indoors. Hiei's eyes widened. "What in the name of Matt Lower…?"

(1) In Egypt, people use their right hand for eating, left hand for cleaning themselves. So eating food with your left hand would be considered gross.

(2) From that song that goes, "I want a purple kitty for my birthday mom/a fuzzy one, a pretty one." Or something along those lines.

_**Review responses by Sour Schuyler**_

AnimeSenko- After you left your beloved camera to go on your 11th honeymoon with Kurama-dear, you swiftly came through a plothole to see if you could make fun of me for buying such a terrible house. After that you went back to your Kurama-dear, who went to 7-11 to buy you pocky. And thus your story has become clear. I hope we didn't offend you by forgetting to ask if we could put you in! (sweat drop) We won't do that again!

Vince- How many times have I told you what types of videos Yugi watches? But actually, that makes for a good subplot… me finding one of those… ha ha ha.

Akio the Dragon Master- But he's so cuuuuuuute! (hugs Yugi until he turns blue) Oh dear. (lets him go) I'm glad you like it. By the way, Yugi still hates you.

Mecha Scorpion- Yeah, it's basically day-to-day stuff that MAIDEN OF TIME AND SPACE and I make up on the spot. However, a bit later in this story, there is some sub-form of a plot. Your friend sounds cool. WHY CAN'T I LIVE IN NEW YORK OR NEW JERSEY? O.o; Wah. Glad you thought it was random. So did I.

Blind Craze- That hurts… (cries) …"MUAHAHAH! A!" ? What's with the "A!" ? Did you get attacked by a stapler or something? Choke on a hamburger bone? –Wait, hamburgers don't have bones. …. Or _do _they…?


	3. Who ya gonna call!

After another fifteen minutes, Danielle had finally remembered. Now poor Yugi was being dragged down the hallway. Danielle ran into the guest room, and closed and locked the door. She turned around and glared at him and… mooed… like a mad bull.

"Why do I get the feeling I'm about to be raped when I know that is not going to happen?" Yugi muttered. His girlfriend blanched.

"Wow… You're really a lot more perverted than your friends give you credit for."

"Yeah, it's a gift."

Danielle sweat dropped, muttering, "Sure it is."

"No, really, it was a gift from Joey. He gave it to me in exchange for a couple of Calvin and Hobbes."

"…Ok, sure. That sounds normal…" Danielle suddenly looked demonic. "Now what were you doing with Tea?"

Yugi, who had been thrown onto the bed by sheer force when Danielle turned around and shut the door, looked at her disgruntedly. Man, this looked wrong. He decided to sit up. He did. And it was good… but not better than leaning against pillows, he guessed. Wait a second, what was going on again? Oh. Oh. Riiiiiight…

"It's not like we were doing anything… wrong," Yugi said stubbornly, crossing his arms.

"Define 'wrong'."

"Something we didn't do," maintained Yugi huffily.

"Oh really?"

"We just went swimming, that's all."

"You went swimming?"

"Uh-huh."

"With Tea?"

"Uh-huh."

"And you didn't try to drown her or steal her clothes?"

"No… is the stealing her clothes a trick question one?"

"Um…"

"I mean, really." Yugi was suddenly voluble. "What would I do with them? Where would I sell them? I bet even E-bay wouldn't take those…'

"Nice try, but I know that the school uniform doesn't look that bad on her," Danielle accused. "Anyway… yeah, what would you do with Tea's clothes?"

"I just asked you that…" Yugi sweat dropped. This conversation was going nowhere. "Look, I'm really, really, really sorry. I was just very bored and swimming sounded like a good idea. I tried to get Kat and Hiei to come, but they were…" Pause. "Arguing. Yes, arguing, that sounds plausible."

"...Poophead," Danielle replied moodily. Yugi smiled in light of his girlfriend's silly rejoinder before remembering she was still surly, and therefore as dangerous as Lil' Kim with a gun and no estrogen. Not good.

"I'm sorry--"

"You cheated on me." She had her arms crossed and was delivering a half-lidded, lazy glare. Yugi didn't know what to say.

"Er... Yeah..." Pause. "I'm so stupid," he said to himself.

"I can hear you, you know." Danielle gave him a sour look.

Yugi looked up at her and blinked in surprise. "Can you?"

About that time it started raining black rose petals.

"O.O Uhhh…" said Yugi intelligently. Danielle picked one up off the floor and held it in-between her forefinger and thumb. It felt so soft, like silk underwear. Yes… you _know _you know what _that _feels like. ;). She crushed in in-between her fingers and started laughing maniacally. Yugi sweat dropped.

Meanwhile, back to where things were slightly starting to resemble Pappadeaux…

"o O Call the shrimp exterminator!" Kat cried in horror.

"'Kay," Hiei said, as if Kat had just told him to find her a dishcloth or not to forget an umbrella when visiting the nursery so he could poke old people while they slept. The demon went to call the, er, shrimp exterminator.

…Or, rather, he walked into the kitchen, where Aeris was prinking herself, getting ready for her date and staring at her reflection in a metal strip on the refridgerator. Hiei smirked, sneaking up on her, and then suddenly…

Aeris felt a chill. "Who's there?" she called.

"CALL THE SHRIMP EXTERMINATOR!"

Aeris whirled around just in time to see Hiei storm off.

"Ok…" She looked confused. "It's not raining shrimp in the kitchen…"

Sango opened the door. "Did someone call the shrimp exterminator!" she asked.

"O.O" Aeris stared in bewilderment. "No."

"Oh," Sango said.

"YEAH!" Kat and Hiei screamed. Aeris ignored them.

"Oh, okay," Sango said. "I'll just step back outside…"

So she did.

Aeris picked up the phone and called the shrimp exterminator. Immediately, Sango opened the door.

"Did you require my services now?" she asked cheerfully.

"Yeah," Aeris said,"apparently theres shrimp raining in the hallway... that's funny, in the dining room it's pumpkin pie..."

Kat gulped. "Danielle-chan's gonna kill us…"

"Don't worry, she's too busy killing Yugi to care," Terra assured her, patting Kat on the shoulder.

A voice was heard: "GET OUT OF MY HOUSE, TERRA!"

"Kami!" Terra gasped. "Geez, geez… nobody but authoresses, huh?" she left, munching on a brownie she had found in Kat's chest.

Back with the raining shrimp, Kat had found a creative solution. Of of the piles and piles of shrimp, she sprang up, making sounds like a dolphin. Opening her mouth, she caught and consumed some of the shrimp. "Yum!" She smiled.

Bobasa, meanwhile, had a towel wrapped around his waist and was scrubbing his back in the shrimp-rain. "I'm siiiiiiiinging in the raaaaaaain..." he sang.

Hiei looked at Kat with half-lidded, unbelieving eyes. "And you're not bothered by this?" he demaned of Kat.

Kat grinned. "He has a bathing suit underneath it. Either that, or his butt says 'Speedo' on it."

Bobasa hummed ecstatically as he rubbed the shrimp all over his body. His towel slipped.

Kat and Hiei gawked.

"Yup," Hiei said. "His butt says 'Speedo' on it."

"Yes!" Bobasa confessed maniacally. "It does! Yes! It does! But that's a different story, and I am wearing a bathing suit anyway."

Hiei looked horrified. "Bobasa, that's a G-string…" _My eyes, _Hiei thought. _My poor, virgin eyes! …Aw, why do my eyes have to be VIRGIN eyes, anyway? That just makes it worse._

Bobasa put his hands on his hips and looked indigant. "SO! I wanna feel secure and pretty!"

"But—"

"Shut up and don't judge me! Don't you want to find the treasure?"

The demon scoffed. "Oh, yeah, right, like there's really a treasure…" Kat pushed a treasure chest into the room.

"I have a chest! Is this it?" Kat asked. (And curse Hiei, because he got a nosebleed when Kat said 'I have a chest'.)

Bobasa's eyes grew uncustomarily wide. Sort of like this! O.o

"How did you—wait, no. No, it isn't," he realized.

"Oh." Kat didn't look the least bit deterred by this. "Then what is it?"

"It's a 'magical haircomb' that's hidden in the basement and is useful as a plot device. You can't find it. It's magic. So, you didn't," Bobasa explained.

Kat's eyes became swirly 'at' signs. "Ok…"

"Soooooo," Bobasa began. "…What's in the chest?"

"Brownies," Hiei told him. "I ate one."

Kat looked at him, disgusted.

"What?"

"…Hiei-kun, that's dog droppings."

The demon's eyes bugged. "MMP!"

"Hiei-kun, don't vomit on the new floor…!"

"He didn't," Bobasa accused angrily. "That was my towel."

"That was my G-string!" Hiei countered. Kat's eyes bugged.

"I'll just walk away now," she decided. "O.O"

Hiei realized his mistake. "NO! ONNA! IT'S NOT WHAT YA THINK!"

"O.O" Kat stumbled away.

Meanwhile! Sango and Aeris were standing awkwardly.

"So, yeah... there's shrimp raining and pumpkin pie. I don't mind the pie much, but I'm allergic to shrimp... though I'm leaving now... see ya..." Aeris left.

"Finally!" Sango cheered, getting a gleam in her eye. "Now, I can exterminate the demon that stole our treasure!"

Somewhere, Danielle looked at the ceiling. "Ooh," she said, "sub-plots! Sub-plots!"

"Nani?" Yugi asked, confused.

"Quiet, I'm still mad at you."

"Awww…"

Uh… OTHER SCENE!

"Are you okay?" Kat asked worriedly, handing Hiei another towel. For some reason they were all out of trash cans, so they were vomiting on Danielle's nice towels.

"Yeah..." RETCH.

"-.- Liar."

"-.- Whatever. What's the difference? I'm a demon, we heal pretty quick. Just ask Inuyasha."

"But I like you more than Inuyasha... I don't care if you 'heal quick', I want you to be better now..." Kat touched Hiei's shoulder. "I worry about you when you vomit up half the contents of your stomach..."

Hiei boggled at her. _In an odd way, that's sort of romantic, _he thought. "…Thanks, onna."

"No problem." Kat hugged her knees and watched solemnly as Hiei continued to upchuck.

Bobasa stuck his head into the bathroom. "Who wants muffins!" he inquired.

"MUFFINS!" Kat yelled joyously, and she sped out of the room. Instead of feeling angry, or dejected, or even sweat dropping, Hiei stood there with a contented smile on his face.

"At least I'm loved. Unlike Yugi by now." Hiei chuckled until the toilet blew up.

Later, Bobasa, Kat, and Hiei were in the kitchen. Bobasa handed a plateful of muffins to the couple.

"Fank you!" Kat spat, eating them speedily.

"Slow down, onna," Hiei said, entering the room. "You're going to get heartburn. Or you're going to choke—"

"Hk! Hk!" The teenaged girl dropped a spoon that she had been holding for no inherent purpose. "Hkkk!"

Hiei leapt to his feet. "Onna!" he shouted worriedly.

Meanwhile, Sango went stalking down the hallway. "Better go exterminate the shrimp first," she had reasoned, and there she was.

And there Bobasa was.

"O----o I didn't know there'd be a giant standing in his underwear."

Meanwhile...

Aeris stopped on her way to the airport. "Did I forget something?" she wondered. "Nahh..."

Back in the house, Sango's brows narrowed slightly. "What are you doing here?" she inquired.

"- Getting more cleaning liquid for my muffins."

"Cleaning liquid... you're mad!"

"- Aw, come on! It's not like we had a lot of things to use in the tombs..."

"The tombs?"

"Yeah, the tombs," Bobasa explained. "I'm a--"

Something inside the washing machine exploded. "Oh, it's not ready yet!" a voice said heatedly from inside of it, and there were many whispers.


	4. So THAT'S Where They Come From

Woo-ee! This chapter goes up in honor of Kat's un-grounding! HUZZAH! Welcome back my crazy friend!

Yugi and Danielle emerged from the guest room at the sound of a scream.

"It came from New Jersey!" whispered Yugi soothsayingly. Danielle rolled her eyes.

"That was Tim Jacobs," she said.

"Oh. Then... it came from the hallway!"

"Ok."

Danielle and Yugi made their way down the hallway. They were very disturbed to see carvings of belly dancers on the walls, as well as the copious amount of shrimp that decked the hallway. Amidst all the shrimp, Bobasa was gesticulating wildly as Sango sat there and nodded, entranced by his story.

"And that," the tomb keeper finished, "is where babies come from."

Sango gave him a bewildered look. "What does that have to do with you being here?"

"Many things..." Bobasa answered, while assuming a wise facial expression.

Meanwhile, with Kat, Roger and Hiei, pies were being thrown. So were muffins. Roger was pulling on Kat.

"SHE'S MINE!" Roger yelled, just before taking a pie to the face. "ARGH!"

Hiei pulled on Kat. "MINE!"

"Baka no muse!" Hiei cried triumphantly. "Kat is MINE! Crawl back to your pathetic books!" With that, Hiei cast a muffin towards Roger... which hit him... there.

Kat ate a muffin.

Roger's eyes teared up. "I'll... get you for this," he stated. "Kat WILL be mine!" With that, he limped out the doorway.

Kat looked after the muse with a confused look on her face. "Hm," she wondered, "what got the poor guy so attached to me?"

"- You smell nice?" Hiei offered.

Kat smiled. "Suck-up," she teased.

"You do!" Hiei offered, making a happy face. "You smell like Vanilla and jasmine."

Kat melted. "AWWWW!" She hugged Hiei. " I feel so loved."

**_Back with the idiots and the shrimp!_**

"We're idiots?" Yugi pouted.

"- We must be cute idiots then!" Danielle observed cheerily. She glomped Yugi, making him fall to the floor.

"…I have shrimp in my ear.." Yugi sighed.

"Shrimp in the ear can cure rabies!" Bobasa explained jollily.

Yugi made a face. "I don't have rabies—"

"SHRIMP PIMP!" Bobasa yelped. He started shoving shrimp into poor Yugi's ear.

"Ow. Ow. Ow."

Then a chipmunk scurried up and bit Yugi as well.

"YARGH!" Yugi yelled, and he turned rabbit, I mean rabid.

Bobasa bellowed, "OO STUFF THE SHRIMP!" Sango took out a pocket knife, cut up the shrimp, and started stuffing them with convenient stuffing located nearby.

"I KNOW HOW TO SAVE HIM!" Danielle shouted gleefully. She took Yugi and kissed him. Yugi went back to normal. Danielle sweat dropped profusely.

"Wow, I thought that wasn't going to work. Too cliché, you know?" Danielle said cheerfully.

Yugi sweat dropped. "You and Kat THRIVE off cliches! YOU'RE CLICHÉ BITCHES!"

Danielle socked him in the stomach.

"Ow. x.X"

Just then, the power went out.

…

There was a pause...

…

"LET'S PLAY A BOARD GAME!" Bobasa suggested loudly, shrieking the suggestion vociferously like a little kid.

Danielle shrugged. "Meh... Sure."

Later, they were playing Monopoly... Kat and Hiei were making popcorn; Danielle was making nasty remarks.

"...You can't move there!" she claimed. "You're going backwards!"

"Oh?" Sango looked apologetic.

"I got on the Boardwalk!" the fatman (you should know who this is) said. "-" He held up his money and started to fan himself with it in due snobbish fashion.

"NOOO! " Yelled Yugi.

"ABOUT TIME YOU WENT!" Kat shouted from downstairs.

"SHUT THE HELL UP!" Yes, that was Yugi.

"DON'T TELL KAT TO SHUT UP!" Hiei, turning evil.

Yugi withdrew, assuming a chibi form. "Okay," he squeaked.

Danielle's eyes widened as her Chibi Rader went off. "EEP! I FORGEIT!" She ran upstairs to mega-glomp Yugi. Are you confused by the upstairs, downstairs, yet? What if I told you the house only had one floor?

"Yuuuuuugi!"

_Thump._

"Ow."

"-O" That's Kat, looking ever so attractive.

"O.o" That's Hiei, looking ever so confused.

The monopoly board only had two people left kneeling around it. (Well, Bobasa was "kneeling" as best he could, but let's not think about that.) Sango gave Bobasa a knowing look. "I guess that leaves you and me, fat man," she taunted.

"- I've already won," Bobasa declared confidently.

"We'll see about that," Sango sneered. She rolled the dice. "Checkmate."

"O-o" Bobasa, just so you know.

Aeris suddenly apparated in Harry Potter fashion from her date. "THAT'S CHESS BAKA!" she informed Sango "politely," before disapparating.

"…What a weird woman…" Sango opined before sipping tea from a pig's nose.

Bobasa looked nebulous. He looked to the left, then to the right, before leaning in and whispering: "She was also very weird 5,000 years ago when she was a priestess."

Sango made a O.O face.

"O.O"

Told ya.

"Nani? She was a preistess?" Sango repeated, cleaning out her ear with her pinky.

"Pretty much," Bobasa told her. "She LOVED to boss High Preist Seto around. That was her hobby."

Yugi had heard this story before. "Oh yeah… she gave Kaiba—" Danielle suddenly leapt on him and attacked him violently. "But I thought you wuvved me… ;;" Yugi nursed his newest bruise.

Danielle dusted off her hands. "I do…" she warned.

"O.O Hate to see what life would be like if she hated me."

"You'd live in Alaska," Kat summed up.

"I probably would," Yugi agreed. "They've got seals. -" The boy with tri-colored hair started to kawaiily imitate a seal. Danielle threw him a fish.

"Down seal!" she commanded. Then, as she was walking away, realization hit her like a ton of bricks thrown at nudists. "SEAL!" She ran and glomped Yugi again, squealing, "Seals are cute!"

"-" Yugi was happy.

Just then….. the monopoly board caught on fire.


	5. Stalkers, muffins, and drag?

"No!" Danielle sobbed. Yugi hugged her and patted her on the back. "Why does this always happen? Kat and I save up for a house (well, _I _paid for most of it) and now it's crap! There's pumpkin pie, rose petals, and shrimp EVERYWHERE! And now we have no computer and NO MONOPOLY! Why!"

Kat handed her a tissue. Danielle honked into it loudly. "...You're not suppose to use it while she's holding it," Hiei told Danielle, disgusted, as Kat looked at her hand with a bizarre, surprised expression.

Yugi's eyes were like this: O.O "That's disgusting." he remarked.

Danielle sweatdropped. "Oops. Sorry kat-chan." she apologized.

Kat twitched as she stared at her snot covered hand. "No problem." she replied.

Hiei then turned to Sango. "So...onna." he started.

Kat growled. "HEY! I thought you only called ME onna!" she yelled. Hiei waved her away with his hand. Kat pouted and turned away.

Hiei cleared his throat. "SO, baka." he said.

Kat growled once again. "HEY! I thought you only called me-"

Roger then hit her in the back. "OW! GO AWAY!" Kat yelled.

Roger grinned at that. "You want me. You'll see." he said as he disappeared like that.

Yugi blinked. "What the heck? Why is Roger always here Danielle?" he asked, knowing that Danielle wasn't listening.

"...Sweatdrop." Yugi said.

Danielle then took that moment to turn around. "You just said sweatdrop." she remarked.

Yugi rolled his eyes. "Oh, so you heard THAT." he said.

Danielle grinned. "Yup!" she said.

"...Sweatdrop," Yuggers narrated again.

Kat sweat dropped at all that was going on, while eating some of the shrimp that was still raining from the sky.

"We should get cocktail laugh!" Danielle suggested with a laugh, and Kat retrieved a glass bowl of cocktail sauce from her pocket.

"I keep some extra just in case," she explained. 

Danielle smiled. "Oh good!" she cried happily, and she began shoveling shrimp into her mouth.

"Um," Yugi began to say, "you do realize that the floor isn't clean? I mean, the carpet is all dirty because all the workers stepped on it and tried to sign their names in poop in the corner."

"...We should've never hired Cartman to do the living room," Danielle said thoughtfully. "We should go carpet shopping! Kat! You're eating a nail!"

Kat was. "I thought this wasn't chewy enough," she complained. Kat then ran into the bathroom to vomit.

A few minutes later, and she still wasn't out.

A few minutes after that, she still was in there.

"…Is she okay?" Hiei wondered.

"Maybe," Danielle answered, glancing up from her game of Go Fish with Yugi.

Hiei sweat dropped. "Nice to see you're so concerned," he said.

"Yeah," Yugi said, handing a card to Danielle, "my girlfriend's compassionate."

Hiei rolled his eyes, and then turned on his heels and walked to the bathroom.

"You walk like a girl," Yugi shared.

Hiei twirled around. "What?"

Just then, Kat came walking out of the bathroom behind him, wearing a straight face. "Do you know," she started, "there's a troll living in the toilet?"

She was met with blank stares. "-- That's nothing," she continued. "He also sleeps with a face mask. And curlers."

A look of realization came over Danielle. "Oh, yeah. Him... Frank. He's a tenent," she explicated.

Kat twitched. "And you never bothered to tell me?" she asked.

Danielle sweatdropped. "Um, well...We needed the money y'see, and.." she started to say.

"You have a tenant and you couldn't afford a better carpenter then Cartman?" Yugi asked.

"...He pays in furcoats." Danielle said sweatdropping.

Hiei smiled dreamily. "Fur coats you say?" he asked.

Kat got a 'o.o' face. "Oh no.." she murmured. She then grabbed Danielle and Yugi. "Never mention F-U-R-C-O-A-T-S to Hiei." she whispered.

Danielle looked at her. "Why?" she asked.

"And can't Hiei spell?" Yugi added in.

"What about dolphins?" asked the demon.

"...Never mind..."

Kat then began to twitch. "He likes to weae them...without any clothes on...and the coat is wide open." she explained.

Danielle stared at her. "..And this is bad for you how? Normally you.." she said.

"WAIT!" Yugi interjected. "Can _I _wear a--"

"No," Danielle said, sweat dropping. "That's definitive."

Yugi looked kawaiily disappointed. "Awww..."

Kat smiled. "You'd look too pimp. Danielle would have to fight Tea away with a broom."

Danielle's face darkened at the mentioning of Tea.

Kat sweatdropped. "Oh right, can't mention T-E-A to Danielle." she said.

Danielle looked at Kat indignantly. "Um…" She huffed, "I can spell. And as long as its green, I don't care."

"O.O" went Yugi.

Kat had just realized that Hiei had make-up, and was messily applying a ruby red shade of lipstick. "Umm… what are you doing?" she asked.

Hiei was startled. "Nani?" He clapped shut his compact mirror. "Just gussing up, doll," he explained… if that can really be counted as a solid explanation.

Kat looked at Hiei dumbly. "Um… why?" she asked.

"O.O You lost a bet!" Yugi guessed quickly.

"NO." Hiei looked miffed. "I just like to feel gorgeous once in awhile." The demon then tried to tousle his hair so that it would look sexy, but as spiky hair is apt to do, it stayed spiky and wouldn't budge. "…Poo," he said quietly.

Danielle looked confused. "Um…"

Yugi turned to his girlfriend, who usually had something to say when things like this happened. "Yeah?"

"UM…"

"…" Yugi waited.

Danielle's face remained blank. "……Ok, I ain't got nothin' on this one."

Kat shuddered and muttered some stuff about drag queens before she sat down on the floor.

Danielle put on her best Eminem impression: "You're gonna let him skate with that, Kat?" she asked, trying to use the same tempo used in the rap song whose name she couldn't remember.

"He doesn't have skates," Kat pointed out. Danielle pouted.

Sango looked at the scene while standing in the doorway. "…I think the food is emitting something that's making people stupid," she theorized.

Bobasa blushed. "Oh, sorry!" He put a finger to his bottom lip, and looked away bashfully. "That was me."

"You…" Sango blinked, sniffed. "Gross!"

Meanwhile, Kat was explaining to Danielle and Yugi why she was letting Hiei 'skate with that.' "He did this last week as well," she told them, looking nauseated. "Guess I gotta get used to his… 'ways.'"

"Um…" Danielle raised her hand like an elementary school student. "Hiei never used to cross dress before… And actually… he looks kind of pretty…" Her eyes went wide. "Almost bishoujo," she realized. "If, y'know, he wasn't obviously a _man._"

Yugi hesitated before saying, "…Or is he?"

"…" Danielle raised an eyebrow at her boyfriend.

"I could check," Yugi said in earnest, earning an odd look from Danielle. "I'm a guy," he explained quickly. "I know what they look like."

Danielle stared for a moment. "...Yugi, as hot as it is, stop acting gay." she said.

"...You think me acting gay is hot?" Yugi twitched.

"Well, no...but Shuichi is. I bought a Gravitation shirt last 'con I went to. It had Shuchan glomping Yuki, and..." At this point Yugi stopped listening."...to school, and most people thought Shuichi was a girl! He He.." Danielle giggled.

Yugi made a . face. "Kill me." he stated.

Kat sweatdropped at this.

"Yaoi is gross." Yugi said.

"No it's not." Danielle said.

"Yes it is. And that...THING.." Yugi said as he pointed at Hiei. "That THING is weird. It's got to go." he added in.

Danielle nodded. "Kay." she said.

Beauty from Bo Bo Bo suddenly appeared. "WHAT?" she yelled as she fell through a trap door.

Sango then picked Hiei up like a potted plant and transported him outside.

Kat then began to sob. "WAIT! HIEI!" she yelled as she grabbed Hiei. "We can fix this!" she cried.

Outside, a neighbor witnessed Hiei being carried outside like an inanimate object. The old, hunched over Chinese man's eyes bulged. "O.O" 'said' he.

Meanwhile, contrary to the paragraph above the paragraph above, Kat was actually happy she wouldn't have to see Hiei and his new look.

"Hiei!" cried the Kat who had followed Sango outside. "Please! We can work this out! Please!" 'Just as long as he dressed like a man,' she thought.

Yugi started to ask Danielle if she had any sevens… then blinked, as a dam burst in his head. "Wait, what?" he cried. "Is that Kat or not?"

Danielle peered outside at the Kat by Sango. "I don't… think so…" she decided. "She doesn't have a hand covered in my snot."

Yugi blinked. "…Ew…"

Danielle blinked as well. "Wait, if Kat's still in here," she pointed to the Kat who was sitting inside on standby, "then who ran outside?"

Meanwhile, a crazed fangirl who happened to look _remarkably _like Kat was sobbing into the chest of a certain cross-dressing demon.

"…" 'said' Hiei.

--U just about summed up the expression on the REAL Kat's face. "I'm glad he's gone," she murmured. Yugi and Danielle looked at her with baited breath.

Later

Danielle sweatdropped as Kat was on a on-line dating site, looking for a new boyfriend.

"You do realize that you're gonna probably end up with some fat slob who lives with his mom?" she asked.

Kat didn't listen.

Danielle sweatdropped.

Yugi was trying to see how many times he could hit a ping pong ball with the small ping pong racket without letting the ball drop. "I thought Kat played the Hiei fanatic," he said in a bored voice.

"...She is," Danielle answered.

The ball fell and hit the ground. "Oops." Yugi reached out and picked it up. He looked at Danielle. "Then..."

"OOH! This one's a demon with black hair! And he's short! And he kind of looks like... hm... Let's contact him!"

Danielle sweat dropped. "She's only contacting guys that look like Hiei," she explained.

Kat, after a while turned off the computer. "Well! I'm off for my date!" she chirped.

Danielle gave her friend a worried look. "Kat? Are you feeling alright?" she asked. "Usually you'd be selling tickets for people to see your crossdressing boyfriend."

"But usually," Yugi remarked to himself, "Hiei would be arguing."

"And anyway, I want to come, even though its totally out of character for me," Danielle said. "But I'd need... like... a date or something."

Yugi waved his arms in front of Danielle's face. "HEY! I know I'm short, but you're only an inch and 1/4 taller than me! YOU CAN SEE MY ARMS!"  
"..." Danielle thought hard. "Maybe I should call someone."

"HEY!"

Kat giggled. "Then come on!" she cheered as she gave Danielle her cellphone.

"o.o Ooh, a phone!" Danielle murmured hypnotically. She stared at the device as Kat dragged her out the door.

Yugi stared after them with a look of bewilderment. "...HEY!"

In the Park

"The stars at night! ARE BIG AND BRIGHT! DeEp In ThE hEaRt Of TeXaS!" sang an imp known as... Allison the bum.

"Alternative caps," a random townie said. "How annoying." Her friend shook her head. Meanwhile, Kat and Danielle were in... a clothing store. Called... uh... Fancy Kworkz! (It's a part of the Gap chain.)

"I hate shopping.." Danielle started to say, only to jump up. "OOH! A SHIRT WITH PEOPLE DYING!" she yelped as she ran to try it on.

Kat sweatdropped.

The store clerk yawned. "Those darn punks." he stated.

Kat looked at the store clerk, who turned out to be Dodoria from DBZ. "Aren't you from the home for infinite Losers?" she asked.

"Naw..I was in the Namek saga." Dodoria replied.

"Oh. Sorry." Kat said.

"S'okay." Dodoria replied.

A minute later... the pink man's eyes flashed. "I'LL KILL YOU FOR MISTAKING MY BACKSTORY!" he screamed as he chased Kat out of the shop.

"AAAAAAAAAAH!" Kat... screamed.

Danielle came out of the dressing. "It's cool!" she said, talking about her T-shirt. "...Kat?" She blinked. "Uh-oh... I'm acting preppy... O.O Must've been something I ate..."

"SOMEONE HELP ME!" Kat yelped.

Meanwhile, Kat ran smack dab into...

"BABE!"

"Gah! Roger!" Kat stood up and evaded his oncoming hug, continuing switftly down the sidewalk.

Panting slightly, she ducked on the side to--buy ice cream?

Kat grinned. "Double scoops! Yay!" She gave the readers a thumbs up, then took her ice cream, consumed it all at once without chewing like something out of a missy elliott video, and ran off.

A little while later, Kat sat at the bench eating chocolate ice cream.

That was when _he _sat down.

Kat looked at 'he'.

He was wearing a black trench coat. And black tights. And spandex underwear over there.

"Can I sit here?" he asked.

"O.O" 'said' Kat. The bench was about 20 feet long, and yet he wanted to sit right next to her. "Um, sure. Knock yerself out."

"Thanks," he said, sitting down.

Kat twitched as he sat down.

His spandex ripped. "Aw, shimatta," he groaned. "Uhm... this is embarrassing..."

Kat eyed him charily. "Kinda," she said suspiciously. "WHO ARE YOUZ?"

"I am... Guy J!" he declared, tossing back his trench coat in a cool way.

"Guy J?"

Guy J sweat dropped. "Well, 'Guy X' was taken already... and so was Man J... so, I am... GUY J!"

Kat sweatdropped.

A kid passed by him. "That sounds really gay..."

"SHUT UP KID! YOU'RE GONNA GROW UP AND END UP IN JAIL OR IN A SHOTACON MAGAZINE!"

"...Ew," said another guy.

Kat sweatdropped more.

Suddenly, a man came through the park, dancing provocatively and singing Busta Rhymes' part of "Don Cha" by the Pussycat Dolls.

"Um..." Kat's eyes went O.O "That's... uh... that's my boyfriend," she said, pointing to the man who was curring helping a squeaky-leather donned Pegasus hand out candy to small boys (making sure to touch their faces).

"Hey there!" he said to the little boy who Guy J had just snapped at. "Haven't I seen you in a shotacon magazine?"

"O.O" The boy ran off. Kat twitched rabidly.

Danielle walked out of the store, still wearing the shirt. It even had the tags still on it. But, seeing as Dodoria wasn't there... she decided she ought to make a run for it. Oooh, devious!

"I'M STEALING A SHIRT!" she screamed discreetly as she ran through the light traffic towards the park.

Kat, hearing the yell, sweatdropped. "And that was my friend." she said.

Guy J. "I think you have interesting acquaintances. Can you help me find somebody?" He took out a picture of Ashley Graham. "Have you seen this... no wait, that's not mine. Here!" He took out a small picture of Kat. "This is her."

"Um, that's me."

"No it isn't."

Kat sweat dropped. The picture resembled her exactly. "Um, can't you tell?"

"There's a mark on her cheek."

"That's a speck of dust."

"Oh!" Guy J folded up the photograph. "Sorry about that. So, hi!" He smiled. "I'm Guy J!" He tipped back his black hat and smiled at her. And smiled. And smiled.

"...Is it creepy that all I can see is the bottom half of your face?"

"...No."

"Ok!" said Kat naively, a happy expression on her face.

Meanwhile, Danielle was screaming about not buying a t-shirt.

"SHE'S STEALING A SHIRT!" screamed a police man, who laughed, which made him choke on his ... muffin!

"TRAITOR!" screamed donuts everywhere.

"Man," gasped the police man as his eyes started to tear, "kids these days are crazy. They scream the darnedest things, ha ha... owch... I can't see..." He crumpled to the ground. Good think that Pegasus happened to pass by, and stepped on his stomach with his black platform shoes. The muffin flew up out of the man's throat, and his eyes fluttered like during REM sleep.

"Tacos..." he whispered. Muffins everywhere felt cheated on.

Kat sweatdropped. Yes, again. "So..." she then noticed that a blue smurf had been staring at her.

"Hello," said the smurf. Then he went home, where his wife was waiting to beat him with a rolling pin because he'd worn mismatching socks to work again. 

Kat then realized that someone else was staring at her. She turned to see who it was.

...It was a clone.

"HI!" Kat-clone screamed, before self-destructing.

Kat sweat dropped."No wonder Danielle-chan doesn't like going outside much..."

Kat then got up and began walking, knowing that Danielle should have been home by now. She just felt herself being followed.

A few minutes later, Danielle was giggling and bragging to a sweatdropping Yugi about how she had took a shirt and was chased by cops. The door then was kicked open, revealing a annoyed kat.

"Okay! Someone is following me!" she stated loudly.

Yugi grabbed a hold of Kat's shirt. "You're being stalked and ignoring Hiei, Danielle's acting rebellious-preppish, and Sango's doing the chicken dance!"

Sango sweat dropped in another room. "I always do this," she said, flapping her arms before twisting.

Yugi closed his eyes and moaned, "I don't even want to THINK about what Hiei's doing right now..."

Meanwhile!

Hiei smiled seductively at an 8-year-old. "Do you want a lollipop, little boy?" he asked, scratching the boy under the chin.

"Yes!" said the kick. Hiei's eyes turned dark. "WELL TOO BAD!" he said, and he took out a small beanie-baby shaped like a hammer and squished the poor kid with it.

"Beans are powerful!" lamented the kid. His lesson was learned.

Meanwhile!

"So who's stalking me?" Kat asked.

"...Bobasa?" Yugi offered.

"...I would've seen HIM..." Kat said, as Bobasa snuck up behind her.

"SANTA!" Danielle screamed. She ran at him. "Ew... you're all doughy!"

Bobasa sighed. "Not again...! Anyway! The treasure!"

"Wut?" said Danielle.

"...The magical comb."

"There's a magical comb?" Danielle asked dumbly.

Kat sweatdropped. "It was mentioned in the first chapter," she said. "Or, at least I think it was the first..." She scratched her head.

"It was?" Danielle cried.

"Yes," said Bobasa. "The magical comb was mentioned..."

"There's a magical comb?" Danielle repeated dumbERly. (What do you mean, that isn't a word? We think you're lying...)

"YES! It can even make YOUR hair clean and non-frizzy!" Bobasa claimed.

Danielle was speechless. "Wow," was all she could say. "That's powerful stuff."

Kat then felt someone watching her again, and then went into a corny karate pose. "OKAY STALKER! COME OUT!" she yelled.

...Yami came out. "...Hi," he said.

Kat fell over. "YOU WERE STALKING ME!" she said.

"What's up?" Yugi asked cheerfully, ignoring Kat's outbursts.

Yami shrugged. "Not much." he said.

"Then why are you here?" Danielle asked. Yami stared at her. "Uhm... Yami? You okay?"

Kat sweatdropped and ran her hand over Yami's face. "Anybody home?" she asked.

"Hi," Yami said to Danielle.

Danielle felt awkward. And not just because she couldn't remember her pen-pal's hair color. "Hi," she said. "...Stop staring at me."

"Hi," said Yami. Yugi kicked him in the butt. Kat went "O.O" Yami blinked.

"Yugi, we're out of sugar," he told his host.

"Is that why you're here?" Yugi asked.

"No," Yami said, "I'm here because..."

Kat muse: (barks)END OF CHAPTER!

Danielle muse in freaky hockey mask: REVIEW AND WE SHALL UPDATE! (sets off a Spaceballs flamethrower)


	6. The Spiky Haired Love Triangle

Yami then looked confused. "...Why am I here?" he said.

Danielle, Kat, and Yugi all fell over.

"You don't know why you're here?" Kat said after getting up.

"...Nope," Yami said.

"Let's try some word association," Yugi suggested.

Yami gaze him a dumbfounded look. "…Sure," he agreed.

"Car," Yugi started.

"Fast."

"Apple."

"Fructose."

"Child."

"You."

"HEY!" Yugi shouted, insulted.

"…I mean, hyperactivity," Yami recovered slowly.

"Well, obviously you want sugar," Yugi deduced with a small smile.

Kat sweatdropped at this. She then noticed that a Heartless from Kingdom Hearts was on her head.

"What the..." she started to say.

Danielle got a confused face. "What's that?" she inquired.

Kat sweatdropped. "It's a heartless from Kingdom Hearts," she said, since she played the game almost all the time.

"Mama!" the Heartless cooed.

O.O was Kat's face.

"It looks strange," Yugi mumbled. His eyes widened. "And foreign," he realized. He pointed at the Heartless. "…COMMUNIST!" he enunciated dramatically.

"o.O" Yami turned to Danielle again. "……."

Danielle smiled. "Hi," she said, trying to be friendlily, which, is turns out, is a real word.

Yami took a deep breath. "Can I borrow a cup of sugar?" he finally asked. Kat fell over. Yugi nodded as if to say yes, this is normal for Yami.

"Uh… do we have sugar?" Danielle wondered.

"The way Hiei's been acting, I'd say there's not much left, Yugi replied.

Kat decided to look in the stash, only to see a herd of squirrels in there.

Awkward silence.

And then the squirrels attacked with a battle cry.

"AHHHHH!" Kat yelled as she was covered in the furry creatures from hell.

No one else paid any mind to this as Yami looked disappointed. "I guess I'll have to stay awhile, he said.

Danielle shrugged. "Fine by me, she said.

"HEY! I live here too!" said a Kat who was by now covered in squirrels.

Yami then sighed sadly and looked at Danielle. "I really wanted that sugar, he said.

"I (cough) think he wants Danielle (cough,)" Kat voiced surreptitiously.

"I heard you," Danielle said, showing Kat a facial expression that can best be drawn as --.

Kat sweat dropped, her eyes drawn up into two falsely-happy arches.

"…" 'said' Yugi, staring at his soul partner, dumbfounded.

Yami gave Yugi a very cheesy-looking smile. "No way. Me? No."

"…Yeah you do," said Kat.

"...FINE! I ADMIT IT!" Yami suddenly burst out in confession, as if Kat had been consistently accusing him for hours and pressure had been building up inside him. He shielded his eyes with his arm as he gave this confession dramatically. One of the squirrels took this moment to say "dun dun dun."

"…Lack of sugar, I'm sure," Danielle responded, trying to think up an excuse for the quondam Pharaoh to act so bizarrely.

"Why would you want my girlfriend?" Yugi demanded jealously.

Yami pouted. "Because you have a girlfriend and I don't," he said.

Yugi blinked. "...So?" he said slowly.

Yami stayed silent. "...It seemed like a better idea before I said it aloud."

"Things like that happen," Danielle said.

"All the time," Kat added in.

"Really?" Yami asked. The three nodded.

"Oh. So I'm not dumb," Yami realized.

"Well, I don't know why you want Yugi's girlfriend, and as far as--hey! You're not listening to me!" Kat said as Yami grabbed Danielle's hands.

"Hi," Yami said.

"Ho," Danielle replied. "Hi, ho. It's off to work we… wait a minute." Danielle managed to catch herself before she burst out into song. "Uhm, Yami, I'm flattered, but… I'm dating your shorter, less courageous half with floppy hair."

"…" That was the sound of the others in the room, before Kat cleared her throat. "…That's nice," she said politely.

-- was the look on Yugi's face. "I feel so loved," he exclaimed.

Danielle looked at Yugi, and then back at Yami. "So, yeah. And he has floppier bangs that you."

"..." Yami looked dumbfounded."So, yeah," Danielle said. "Sorry!" The brown-haired girl gently maneuvered her hands out of Yami's light grip. Then, she walked calmly over to her boyfriend, portraying an excellent amount of poise before megaglomping him roughly. Kat smiled. Yami pouted, as was very surprised to hear what Yugi had to say.

"You're welcome to stay, though."

"…Even though I like your girlfriend?" Yami gawked at his aibou, who had Danielle's arms around him as she looked content.

Yugi looked at the girl in his lap. "…Eh. You ain't no Syrus Truesdale. I'm not worried," he explained.

Yami gave him a blank look. "…Who?" he asked.

"Some guy who is shorter, less courageous, and has floppier hair than me," Yugi said.

"o.O" said Yami.

Meanwhile, with Hiei… Well, to see where Hiei was, you'd have to visit the local stripper joint. Why was Hiei at a stripper joint? That's exactly what he was wondering.

"…Why are we here?" he asked. Pegasus grinned.

"Just getting some wine," the milksop explained. He grabbed some and they were off to the park again. Hiei grabbed Pegasus and ran really fast so they could arrive at their destination sooner. (They had stolen the wine, so he wanted to get out of there as soon as possible.)

"Good job, Hiei-boy!" Pegasus exclaimed happily.

A few minutes later…

"…Pegasus?" mewed the demon.

"Yes Hiei-boy?" Pegasus was handing out free candy to children whose parents were making them throw the pieces away.

"My heels are digging into my feet. Can I go home now?" Hiei asked.

"Sure, Hiei-boy. Be sure to come to our meeting next month!"

Hiei nodded. "Alright."

With the others:

Kat began to eat Oreos.

Yami gawked. "You're gonna get fat." he said.

Kat spit out the Oreos. "WHAT?" she said.

Bobasa grinned. "As fat as me!" he said.

Awkward silence.

"...AHHHHHHHHH!" Kat screamed at the top of her lungs, so that people in Australia could hear.

Danielle sighed. "When does Yami go home?" she asked.

Yugi blinked. "You want him to leave?" he asked.

Kat took this moment to take out Danielle's flamethrower that she kept for emergencies.

"No. It's just that Kat might kill him of he's not careful. And Bobasa too," Danielle replied, glancing sideways at the armed Kat.

"...His blubber's probably fire-proof," Yugi said.

Danielle blinked. "Yami's?" she asked.

"My friend in Malaysia's really skinny," Danielle started ranting, "and she told me that she's considered fat there." Her eyes shifted suspiciously. "And in manga, all the girls are always perfect!" Thus she came to the conclusion: "...YOU THINK WE'RE FAT!"

Kat winced. "They probably think we're fat!"

"My friend in Malaysia's really skinny," Danielle started ranting, "and she told me that she's considered fat there." Her eyes shifted suspiciously. "And in manga, all the girls are always perfect!" Thus she came to the conclusion: "...YOU THINK WE'RE FAT!"

Yugi eyes widened to the size of saucers. He hastily escaped Danielle's grip. "NO!" he shouted, frightened. He held his hands up in submission, and since he was in a sort of lying down position, he pushed himself away backwards with his feet.

Kat took out the flamethrower. "HE LIES!"

"Didn't you just have the flamethrower already taken out?" Yugi inquired. "How can you take out something you were holding?"

"…He thinks we're out of order!" Kat challenged belligerently.

"Perish!" Danielle screamed.

"…Is this place always this exciting?" Yami queried to nobody at all.

"Oh, yes!" A cheerful Bobasa replied with excitement. "Bobasa likes it here very much."

"…I don't remember you speaking in third person before," Yugi took the time out to state while Danielle and Kat threatened his life.

Bobasa grinned impishly at him. "Bobasa likes to mix it up," he proclaimed.

"Ah," was Yugi's highly intelligent and multifacetedly deep response. Kat aimed her flamethrower. Music from Resident Evil began playing out of a record player in a plothole. Danielle suddenly wept up and went into 'disco dancing fangirl mode.'

"Woooooooo!" she exclaimed.

Yugi opened his mouth to utter on the craziness of all of this. To his surprise, his voice sounded like the entire band of Simple Plan. "Has everybody gone craaaaaazyyyyyy?" he asked.

Zombies leapt into the room from the plothole portals. Kat was suddenly dressed like Jill Valentine (wearing a mini-skirt and a bright blue tube top that was perfect for battling the forces of the undead in). She had changed unnoticed, due to the convenience that everybody had been looking away from her during the 10 seconds people were paying attention to Bobasa. …It could happen.

Kat let out a battle cry ("HYAH!") and cocked the flamethrower toward them. A stream of flame jetted out and lashed at their bodies.

"I smell barbeque!" one of them moaned. The rest of them attacked him for making such a bad joke, and they ended up eating each other. She had destroyed the zombies. Kat took a few steps backwards, stumbled and landed on her booty. The music stopped.

Danielle cheered. "The classic Jill-falling-on-her-butt!" She clapped. "WOOT!"

Kat rubbed her butt. "Oww…"

"Uh... Danielle... stop discoing," Yugi implored.

Danielle's head blew up to the size of a… large object, and her body became tiny. "ARE YOU SAYING I CAN'T DISCO?" she demanded.

"You can disco," Yugi said. "It's just that there's no music playing."

"Oh." Danielle ceased her disco frenzy. There was silence all around. "So there isn't."

Kat sweat dropped.

Danielle looked around calmly. "Uhm… so… yeah."

The door burst open.

"SANTA!" Danielle flew at… Hiei. "You're not SANTA!" She began to cry. Yugi moved over and hugged her.

"It's okay..." he placated. Danielle sat in his lap.

"My legs are going to be numb…" Yugi muttered. Danielle shot him a look, and then continued sobbing.

"Hi!" Hiei entered, trying to wipe his make-off with his hands. Unfortunately, he was only smearing it everywhere.

Yami eyed Hiei's face. "Are you the chimney sweep?" he asked.

Hiei eyed Yami's hair. "Are you a coat rack?" he shot back.

Kat turned with a 'hmph' sound. "Hello Hiei," she said bitterly.

Hat made that kind of face you get when you shift the number 6, put in a hyphen, and shift another number 6. You know the one.

"Hi Kat!" he shouted obliviously. He moved to glomp her, but tripped. "Stupid high heels!" he cursed. He took one off and threw it at the multi-headed Rat King, as if he was the girl in the Nutcracker.

The Rat King hisses and died.


	7. Screeching, dates, and Kat's darker self

XD GREAT! Ok then! I'll start, I guess.

Now, it happened one day that Danielle was sitting in her room, packing clothes into a suitcase. Yugi, her not-so-faithful-but-OH-so-adorable boyfriend, entered the room and gave her a quizzical look.

"Are you kicking yourself out?" he asked.

"It's my house," she murmured back. "What are you talking about?"

"I don't know. Just don't want you to leave."

In the back of Yugi's feeble, two-timing mind, he remembered that Yami was in "like" with his girlfriend, and was trying to do sweet things for her. Like be mushy. Yeeuck.

Danielle gave Yugi a suspicious, yet flattered look. "…Why are you so nice?" she asked, throwing more clothes into the messy pile in her suitcase.

Yugi ignored her question. "I'll combat you if you try to leave," he said, hoping it was romantic.

Danielle smirked. "What are you armed with?" she asked playfully.

Yugi paused. "…A popsicle," he said finally, revealing the drippy popsicle he'd been holding behind his back. Seeing as it was about to drip onto Danielle's carpet, he bit the tip of it off.

"Interesting," Danielle said. "But I'm not leaving."

"Then where are you going?" Yugi asked impatiently, his voice bordering on a canine whine. Ooh, that rhymes!

"Ask Kat," was what she said.

Yugi cringed. "There's scary noises coming from her room, though," he admitted babyishly.

"Like what?" Danielle asked nonchalantly.

In Kat's room…

Kat was playing Resident Evil with the volume turned up to max, so it literally sounded like she was killing someone in there.

"TAKE THAT AND THAT!" she yelled while laughing insanely.

In Danielle's room...

"...Never mind." Yugi muttered.

"...Alright, I'll tell you," Danielle said, zippering up her suitcase. "I'm leaving for three weeks. To a camp."

"O.O The concentration camps for Canadians?"

"What? No... I'm only 1/4 Canadian, anyway. And that was just a movie." Danielle sighed exasperatedly, running a hand through her hair. "This is... it's sort of a..." She blushed. "It's a nerd camp..."

"O.O Nerd camp?"

"Do you always make that face?" she snapped. "Anyway, I'm leaving in a few days, and then Kat's leaving a bit later for Maryland. So you guys will have to leave the house. It will be... empty..."

All background noise stopped as a tumbeweed passed by. Yugi stared at it.

"Um... ok then... Do you need my help packing?" He smiled sweetly.

"Nope, I'm finished."

Yugi's face fell. "Oh."

At that time, Yami came in. Danielle's eyes widened when she saw what he was carrying.

It was a suitcase. "So, when do we leave for this camp of yours roommate?" Yami asked in a sappy sweet voice that made Yugi cringe.

"...You're not coming." Danielle said with a sweatdrop. Yami's eyes became shiny.

"But you said I could come last night!" he screeched like a 4 year child wanting sugar.

Danielle blinked. "When did I say that?" she asked.

--Flashback to the other night--

"Yami, do you think this shirt makes me look fat?" Danielle asked that classic question as the ex-Pharaoh sat on her room, watching Danielle try on shirts. Lucky for him she hadn't been able to find Yugi when she'd been choosing shirts to bring to camp.

"...Yes," the Pharaoh said dauntingly.

Danielle blinked at him. Then swore. Then smiled. "Oh, I'm sure the girls in my suite will just LOVE your opinion! Maybe I should bring you with me!" she said, anger barely contained.

Yami smiled. He quite liked the sound of that. "Sure!" he said.

Danielle sighed. "...You probably don't even know what you did wrong," she sighed. "Why is everybody here an idiot?"

--End Flashback--

"Yami, I was being sarcastic. You're not coming." Danielle said. Yami then went into a tantrum.

"I WANNA GO! I WANNA GO!" he screeched, the house shaking from the noise.

"YAMI STOP!" Yugi yelled. Hiei then ran into the room flapping his arms.

"I'M A BUTTERFLY!" he screamed with Yami's screeches in the background.

"...Is Hiei on something?" asked a sweatdropping Yugi.

"Well, yes," Danielle said subduedly, "but morphine usually shouldn't have that effect."

"Um... ok," Yugi said, nervously scooting away from Kat's boyfriend.

Yami stared at Danielle venemously. "You lied to me!" he accused. "I... I trusted you!"

Danielle sweat dropped. "Did you?" she said sarcastically.

"There's more of that sarcasm! You owe me for that!"

"I do?"

"Yeah!" Yami paused. "...How about a date?"

Danielle sighed. "If it'll make you happy," she said, "then we can hang out before I go to camp. But don't call it a date."

"HEY!" Yugi screamed.

"I'm a chicken!" Hiei announced, before pecking at Yugi's head.

Yugi clonked Hiei on the head, thus, knocking the high demon out cold. He then stomped in front of Yami.

"GET AWAY FROM MY GIRLFRIEND!" he yelled. Danielle sweatdropped.

"Yugi? It's not really a date." she said. Yugi turned to him.

"You're taking his side?" he yelled. Yami of course was right now smitten and he went to hug Danielle.

Danielle pushed Yami gently away from him. "I'm taking my own side," she said. "Now... fetch me a popsicle, slave."

Yugi stared at Danielle for a long, long time.

"...You've been staring at me for a long, long time, Yugi," Danielle said. "Just go and get me a blasted popsicle!"

"Yami will eat you if I leave," came the boy with tricolored hair's hypnotic response.

"...Yami, why don't you get me a popsicle instead?" Danielle asked, sweat dropping. "I think Yugi's going into shock or something."

Yami bowed deeply. "Of course, milady," he said.

5 minutes later...

"...I don't have a clue where these people keep their popsicles," Yami groused. "Maybe Kat knows?"

Yami opened up a door. A mop came out and hit him on the head. "OW!" The quondam ruler rubbed a sore lump that had sprung out of his head and put the mop away. "I thought that was Kat's room..." He went to the door next door and opened the door to see...

Kat's room had posters of all kinds of bishies and the wallpaper was black. Her bed was just a futon with a black covering, and the lights were off. Clothes, bishie plushies, mangas, and video games were everywhere, and in the middle of all this mess was Kat, who's eyes were glued to the glowing TV screen as she played Kingdom Hearts 2.

"..Kat?" Yami asked. The said girl turned and growled like a wild animal at him, her right eye twitching.

Yami screamed and ran out of the room. "Well, there's a side of Kat I thought I would never see." he said panic-like as he went to look for a popsicle.

He finally came to a metal door that said in bloody letters: 'POPSICLE VAULT. ENTER AND PERISH.'

Yami then opened the door.

Inside the vault were no popsicles. Instead, a very large and sticky Bobasa was seen.

Yami blinked. "Bobasa, did you eat all these popsicles?"

Bobasa looked around, startled, until he saw the Pharaoh. "Oh! I'm sorry my Pharaoh!" He turned around and bowed toward his Pharaoh, which resulted in him falling over on his fat tummy. "Oof..."

Yami sweatdropped.

--Later--

Yami comes back empty-handed. Danielle glares.

"Where's the popsicle?" she asked.

"...I first went to Kat's room, where I saw her true evil self when she nearly attacked me like a wild animal, then I went to the vault, and saw that Babosa ate all of the popsicles." he explained with a huge sweatdrop.

"...Ok, usefull Cybunny," she said, rolling her eyes. Yami looked at her confused.

"Did you just call me a--"

"Quiet, Neonerd," she said. "I'm just gonna make popcorn instead. And pack some to bring to camp with me. Mmm. Popcorn. Has Kat started packing yet?"

"Er, no," Yami said quietly.

"Alright. So... about this 'hanging out' thing."

Yami perked up when Danielle said that. He was eager to spend time with her.

"We could go to the movies," he suggested. Danielle frowned. That sounded very datish to her. But, datish doesn't mean it was a date...

"Sure," she said. "When do you want to go?"

"How about now?" Yami asked, eyes twinkling. Danielle gulped. She was liking this less and less by the second.

"Well... ok," she said. "That'll get it out of the way. What movie should we see?"

Yami smirked. "I know the perfect one..."

--At the Movie Theater--

"Yami.." Danielle said after a couple minutes.

"Yes?" Yami asked with a grin. Danielle's head became then became 10 x bigger then her body.

"THIS IS ONE OF THOSE LOVEY MUSHY CHIC FLICS!" she yelled, making everyone look at them.

"Don't you like those kind of movies?" Yami meeped, a nervous smile on his face.

Danielle faltered. "No... but... eh..." She sighed. "I guess I'll give you points for trying. ...I mean, I would, if this was a date. You're so annoying, though." She sighed. And then yawned. "This movie's putting me to--IS THAT ASHTON KUTCHER?" Danielle's eyes suddenly became very wide. "It IS! It IS Ashton Kutcher!" She grinned.

"...Now you won't lean on me," Yami grumbled.

"What?" Danielle asked, sipping a Fanta and staring at Ashton Kutcher's sexy... hair.

"Never mind." Yami sighed.

--At the House--

"Where did Kat go?" Yugi asked himself. He hasn't seen her all day, and usually she would skip through the grass barefoot on sunny days like this.

He headed towards her room and open the door a bit.

Kat, absorbed in another videogame, began to growl at Yugi, and said midget gulped and shut the door.

"Sh-She's scary." he muttered.

"As scary as... ME?" said a scary voice. Yugi turned around slowly.

"Bakura?" Yugi blinked. "Hey! Have you seen... Yami?"

Bakura grinned broadly. "Why yes, little heathen. I saw him while I was skipping through the grass barefoot. He was with Danielle."

" 'Heathen?' " Yugi repeated angrily. And then: " 'Danielle?' "

Bakura nodded. He bared his fangs and licked them to clean them off.

"...You're scary, but you've helped me, I'll give you that," Yugi said. Then he rushed off. To the movies!

Danielle and Yami left the theater.

"That was fun...I guess...maybe?" Danielle asked. Yami was sweat dropping. All Danielle did was talk about that guy's hair the whole movie.

"You sure love hair, don't you Danielle?" Yami said.

Danielle sighed a bit. "Yeah. That's one of the reason I love Yugi! His hair is so... hey! Your hair looks kind of like his!"

Yami sweat dropped. "She's kind of dumb today," he said.

Danielle glared. "You just said that out loud!" she accused.

"Um... that was the wind."

"Oh. Okay!"

Yami grinned as Danielle began to poke his hair, when suddenly!

Yugi came charging down the street on some kid's skateboard that he stole.

"Danieeeeeeeeeeeelle!" Yugi cried mournfully. Danielle grinned.

"Wow! Yugi can skateboard!" she said, uber-impressed. Yami frowned.

"Hey, let's head this way," he said, grabbing her wrist and pulling her into an alley... only to crash into Lady and the Tramp, who were sucking on spaghetti. "Oh!" the former king called out, embarrassed. "Sorry!"

"Watch where you're going you & &$# &$!" the Tramp yelled. Danielle and Yami got wide eyes and headed in another direction.

"Well that was weird," Yami commented casually.

"Yeah," Danielle said, adding, "I didn't know that dogs could talk. So... I guess we're done hanging out, ne?"

"Why?" Yami stopped and looked Danielle full in the face. "You don't like hanging out with me?"

Danielle blushed, flustered. "No, I do," she replied, "it's just that Yugi... um..." And she was reduced to a mumbler.

"Sorry, I couldn't hear that," Yami said. "Let's go somewhere where we can get that fixed."

"Excuse me?" Danielle asked.

"We're going swimming," Yami declared randomly.

"...Are you wearing your suit beneath your clothes for no particular reason, too?" Danielle asked.

"Yep! I'm always prepared."

"Me too."

Then Yugi came crashing through a brick wall.

"DANIELLLLEEEE!" he screeched like a cat.

Yami blinked. "...How is it possible to run through a brick wall?" he said.

Yugi grinned. "I borrowed your Shadow Magic."

"Hey!" Yami yelled. "That isn't a toy!"

Danielle grinned gratefully. "Yugi, would you like to go swimming with us?" she asked, trying to pretend she didn't know that Yami had been trying to hit on her all night.

Yugi broke out into a grin. "Alright!" he said. Yami pouted. "Might as well invite Kat too." he mumbled.

Yugi sweat dropped. "That might not be a good idea," he advised.

Yami blinked, then remembered when he went into her room and began to twitch. Danielle put her hand on his shoulder. "Are you okay?" she asked.

Yami grabbed her hand. "Yes!" he said happily. He practically chirped it. Danielle found it a bit odd.

Yugi growled at that, but Yami didn't care. So, he did the next thing that came to mind…

He threw a tantrum.

"MY DANIELLE!" he screeched.

Danielle looked at Yami oddly. "Um, hey... Yami... I..."

"No, _my _Danielle!" Yugi argued. Danielle sweat dropped.

"Oh boy," she mumbled. "It's gonna be a looooong night. I wonder what Kat and Hiei are doing right now?"

Meanwhile, at the house, Kat was trying to get Hiei to play a Resident Evil mini-game.

"I'm not doing Ada's assignment!" Hiei kvetched.

"Why not?" Kat asked.

"Because."

"Because why?"

"Because...I said so!"

Kat then turned demonic and grabbed Hiei.

"You're doing it." she rasped. Hiei turned chibi.

"Yes ma'am." he squeaked.

Hiei sat down reluctantly, the Gamecube controller feeling heavy in his hand. He watched the cutscene where Ada talks to Wesker. "Who's the hot chick?" he asked. Kat glared at him. "Nevie mindie..."

The door then opened downstairs, and Danielle and the two spikey haired men fighting for said girl walked in.

"This chapter has a lot of jumps," Danielle said thoughtfully, as a toaster fell with a thump from the plothole above.

"Yeah." Yugi muttered.

"YEAH! IT'S YUGI! MY HOMEY!" Hiei ran downstairs. "SAVE ME FROM ADA AND THE ZOMBIES PAL!"

"Hiei, Resident Evil 4 doesn't _have _any zombies," Danielle said matter-of-factly, as Hiei clung to Yugi's shirt.

O.O best described Yugi's face. "Umm..." he said.

Suddenly, a cab came driving up to the house and Kat came running downstairs with her suitcase.

"I'm off for Maryland!" she said happily.

Danielle O.Oed. "I thought I left before you!"

"You do."

"I thought I left in a couple of days."

"Whoops?" Kat looked sheepish. "Did I say a couple of days? I meant a couple of hours."

"O.O I'm late!" said Danielle, and the two scrambled out the door, suitcases in tow.

Yami gave Yugi a baleful look. Yugi reached over and tugged on his hair.

"Oh, shut up," Yugi said playfully, before going to grab the games he would borrow from Danielle for the next 3 weeks.

Yami glared spitefully, until another toaster came and fell on his head, bounced off of it and landed on Hiei's head.

"x.X" 'said' Hiei.


	8. The Evil Plushie & Yugi

"Ooooooh! Pizza!" Hiei said as Yugi brought it in.

"Yeah, just don't--" he started to say.

Hiei then slammed his face into the pizza and ate like a piggy.

"...eat it all," Yugi finished with a sweatdrop.

Now, you know that grease and a person's face don't mix… just check out your local McDonald's. So, when Kat and Danielle came home from their vacations, they were puzzled to see Hiei in a mask like the Phantom of the Opera. Once Yugi explained that Hiei was… well, kind of ugly, the two shallow girls then wanted to know why Ed was locked up in their closet.

"I don't know," Yugi sighed. "He's been chewing on this… fish. Hiei and I tried to get him out, but then we gave up."

Hiei started singing "The Phantom of the Opera" in high tenor.

Danielle smiled. "He's quite good!" she said, dazzled.

"Hm... yes," Yugi said while eating Dots.

Kat sweat dropped, and not because Edward Elric was in their house chewing on a fish...which was just plain weird.

"Hiei should be good. He kept singing that song over and over ever since I got the soundtrack...I WON A TAILS PLUSHIE AT THE BOARDWALK!" she said, holding up a adorable life size plushie of Tails.

Danielle grinned. "KYAAAAAAAAAA! That's so kawaii!" she squeaked.

"I know!" Kat chirped, huggling the plushie.

"...Cuter then me?" Hiei asked.

"You better believe it!" Kat said, still huggling the plushie.

Hiei fell to his knees dramatically. "Noooo!"

Danielle giggled. "Hiei, I have some Stridex. Come with me." Beckoning the demon to follow her, she made her way toward the bathroom in the hall. Hiei went with Danielle.

Yugi stared at the plushie. "….I think it moved," he said seriously.

Kat's face was all smiley. "Yugi, it's a plushie! Plushies don't move," she said, laughing.

Yugi regarded the toy seriously. "That one did.""I don't know what you're talking about," Kat said dismissively, still smiling.

The plushie's tails then began to wiggle a bit. Yugi saw this and sweatdropped.

"Kat, the tails moved," he said. "Don't be silly," Kat replied.

"..Where exactly did you win this plushie?" Yugi asked. Kat thought for a moment.

"I won it by throwing darts at balloons. The plushie then appeared and I took it," Kat replied with a smile.

"..." 'said' Yugi.

Later…

Kat was now asleep and drooling on the couch. Yugi was reading a magazine, wondering where Danielle and Hiei went. The plushie was…. beginning to walk on its own. Yugi's eyes became quite wide. Meanwhile…

"Ah! This stuff is in my eyes!" Hiei screamed.

"Be quiet." Danielle rolled her eyes. "Don't be such a baby, Hiei. Now rub this all over your forehead." She gave him an ointment. "It's an acne-cleanser so powerful, that if you're pregnant it will deform your babies. So don't go getting pregnant. A friend gave it to me at camp." (A/N: True story!)

Hiei tried to ignore her comments while he rubbed the stuff all over his forehead. Danielle sat on the sink counter, bored out of her mind.

"Did I tell you there's a Mt. Hiei near Kyoto?" she asked, pronouncing Kyoto as two syllables long.

"I'm not interested," Hiei growled.

"Oh…" Danielle paused. "Did you hear something?"With the plushie:

"HELP!" Yugi cried, his eyes in their classic O.O stance. The plushie was holding up a knife and dancing on Yugi's shoulder.

"Huh?"

Kat started to get up. The plushie jumped from Yugi's shoulder and landed on his lap, but still held the knife.

Kat's eyes bulged. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING YUGI?" she yelled. Yugi began to stutter.

"I DON'T KNOW!" he shrieked back.

"What?" Kat yelled.

Yugi began to stutter while pointing at the knife and plushie.

Kat blinked. "...Are you saying this plushie tried to kill you?" she said. Yugi nodded.

"Don't be silly," she said as she huggled the plushie.

"YOU'RE HUGGING IT?" Yugi yelled. The plushie began to make demonic faces at Yugi, making him whimper.

--Much later--

Kat was watching TV with the plushie, while Yugi was getting annoyed.

"Are you giving Hiei a spa treatment Danielle?" he said.

"No...I just need to find eye ointment. Do we have anyway?" Danielle replied back from the bathroom.

" I think there's some in the--YAHHHHHH!" Yugi yelled as the plushie tackled him, Kat not even seeing it.

"There's some in the cabinet," Kat replied.

"Thanks," Danielle said as she went to the kitchen, the plushie grinning evilly at her.

Yugi gulped. "DANIELLE!"

"Huh?" Danielle asked. She then saw the plushie. "Aww. How cute. I need to take pics of you holding it later," she said, turning away.

"That would be cute," Kat agreed, turning away.

The plushie turned to Yugi as if to say, 'You'll die first.' Yugi gulped.

Even later!

Yugi was on the chandelier, away from the plushie. "o.o" he 'said.'

"…When did we get a chandelier?" Kat wondered. She had the kitsune toy wrapped in her arms.

"I ordered one," Yugi said nervously. "It's good for evasive maneuvers.'

"Whatever," said Kat as she moved toward the couch. Once she sat down, she started falling asleep again. The plushie jumped off Kat's lap, took out a chainsaw and sawed down the chandelier in the loudest manner possible, whilst Yugi let out his most bloodcurling bellows.

"O.O OMG!" Danielle spelled out, having just come into the room to see Yugi crash to the ground, broken glass and faux-gold crunched and gnarled.

"o.O" The plushie crawled into Yugi's shirt to remain undetected. "O.O You okay Yugi?" Kat said alarmed and very much awake.

"Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!" Yugi bellowed.

"Aw, Yugi's hurt... NOW I CAN PLAY DOCTOR!" Danielle squealed.

Yugi twitched. "...I'm scared," he said. The plushie quivered under his shirt.

Kat, seeing this, tilted her head. "...Are you pregnant Yugi?" she asked. Yugi's eyes bulged.

"NO!" he yelled.

"...Is that Kat's plushie?" Danielle wondered.

"..IT'S KAT'S PLUSHIE?" Yugi screamed. Kat took out the plushie and hugged it, bringing it to her room.

Yugi twitched. Danielle looked at him strange.

"IT'S AAAAALLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEE!" he shrieked.

"Oh... I see.." came the reply.

Yugi's head drooped. "You don't believe me," he stated.

"In my experience, only blue plushies come to life," Danielle shared.

"...It has a blue tag," Yugi muttered.

"Then maybe!" Danielle said, pointing at Yugi.

--Later that Night--

"…Must I sleep in this face mask?" Hiei groused.

"Yes," Danielle said brightly and happily, 'you must!"

"Ugh." Hiei gagged. "I smell like pickles."

Danielle smiled. "I don't like pickles."

"…You're making that face where you have two shifted sixes with an underscore between them, aren't you?" Hiei asked.

Danielle made that face for the third time. "Maybe!" she replied.

In Yugi's room:

Yugi heard something crawl on his bed. Looking up, he saw the plushie, now standing on his chest with a flamethrower.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Danielle rushed in. "Yugi!" she cried concernedly. Then she saw the plushie, and made the shifted-six face again. "Aw! It wants to play!" she bubbled.

"o0 'Play'?" Yugi said incredulously.

Kat, in the hall, wondered what was going on. She peeked inside. She, too, made the shifted-six, underscore, shifted-six face. "Awww! Cute!" she cooed.

Flash to the bathroom!

"I don't know what's going on, but I like it," Hiei said in a deadpan voice.

Back to the room!

"o O SAVE MEEEE!" Yugi yelped.

Kat reached over and picked up the plushie. "Awww, it likes you Yugi," she said, making that darned face again as she cuddled the plushie.

"Yeah, like a cold sore it likes me," Yugi muttered.

"How about the plushie stays with you tonight?" Kat asked with a smile.

"WHAT?" Yugi shrieked.

"Awww. Lucky plushie," Danielle said.

"Um... the plushie's a guy... That's... you know, a guy plushie... can't. Y'know, love to, but can't," Yugi stuttered, quoting a popular Disney movie, minus the plush talk.

Danielle then shrugged. "I'll take it," she said. Yugi's eyes bulged.

"DANIELLE NO! IT'LL KILL YOU NEXT!" he yelled. Danielle smiled.

"What are you talking about?" she said.

The plushie cooed in her arms. Kat sweatdropped.

"Yugi thinks the plushie ish trying to kill you," she explained.

"Aw!" Danielle cooed, extremely impressed. "Yugi, it's so sweet of you to care!" She giggled happily. The plushie, meanwhile, leered at her demonically.

"O.O But I'm telling the truth!"

"Sure Yugi," Kat laughed.

Danielle played with the toy's two tails. "It's so kawaii!" she exclaimed.

Yugi lost it at this point. "IT'S INSANE!" he averred. Kat smiled, not listening.

"I'm going to get a drink of soda," Danielle said, "and then go to bed. Night y'all." She left, taking the plushie with her.

"Night," Kat said, still smiling and basking in the happiness the plushie had brought, before she went to bed as well.

"..." Yugi twitched.

The boy with tri-colored hair's room was deathly quiet… like something silent in Resident Evil 4. However, after a few moments, a noise revealed itself: scratching noises coming from behind Yugi's wall.

Yugi's face resembled two zeros with at least nine underscores between them.

Meanwhile, in Danielle's room:

The plushie meanwhile was trying to claw its way into Yugi's room. Said midget began to breath panickedly. The plushie then poked his head into the hole he made.

"Heeerrrreeee's... plushie!" it whispered.

Yugi's scream was heard throughout the house. Birds flew away outside from the noise.

Danielle and Kat walked into the room, both pissed.

"Yugi, it's gettin' late. Shut up," Danielle said first.

"But-But--" Yugi stuttered. Kat looked ready to kill.

"Yugi, if you wake me up again, no one will even find your shadow when I'm done with you." she threatened.

Yugi gulped as the girls walked away. The plushie grinned, making Yugi's eyes bulge more. The stuffed animal crawled onto Yugi's bed slowly.

"STAY BACK FIEND!" Yugi yelled.

"Yugi! Please don't yell!" Danielle begged. "Kat and I have a DDR party to go to, and if we don't do well tomorrow, we'll kill you!"

"…" Yugi thought about this. "Great," he muttered. Those stupid impromptu dance parties would be the death of him.

Meanwhile, the plushie was growing devil horns and laughing—er, squeaking—maniacally. Yugi's eyes were wide.

"…This probably isn't good," he reflected.

The next morning!

"PARTY TIME!" Kat shouted in the hallway. She poked her head into Yugi's room. "Morning," she greeted, her face all lit up from the prospect of dancing.

"…" Yugi, poor lad, looked as if he hadn't slept at ALL. "Good morning…" he moaned.

Kat blinked cutely. "You okay?"

"Plushie…"

Kat didn't know what to say to that. "Um… Sango, Bakura, and your Yami are already here. So you might want to get up."

Yugi mumbled in reply. Kat blinked again, and then left.

--downstairs--

Kat sweatdropped. "Yugi's not in a good mood. He hasn't slept I think," she said.

"Neither have I. I kept thinking there were mice in the walls... some kind of scritching noises," Danielle replied.

"I...thought I heard a chainsaw too," Kat mumbled.

"That's crazy," Sango stated.

"Yeah.." Danielle said.

"So...Anyways.." Kat started to say, only to shout, making Sango and Danielle jump.

"DANCE PARTY!" the girl yelled as she ran to the car.

"...We have a car?" Danielle puzzled. "Only I can drive..." But Kat was already at the steering wheel, happy as a lark.

5 minutes later...

Everyone was stuffed in the car. "Good lord…" Danielle mumbled. She was up in the passenger seat, riding shotgun and sharing the seat with Yugi, who looked uncomfortable and sleepy. Kat was trying to keep her eyes on the road. After the third squirrel met its dramatic end, though, Bakura became a _tad _suspicious.

"….Can you even DRIVE Kat?" the irascible tomb robber demanded. Kat's neurotic driving and the fact that Danielle was blasting "Get Yern" was getting to him.

"….Not really," Kat responded after a minute.

"How old are you again?" Danielle asked her friend.

"Um…" The others sweat dropped.

Danielle coughed. "I should drive," she announced. "At least I have a license and can get us all maimed legally in case of a car accident," she said proudly."...Where's you license?" Kat asked. Danielle sweat dropped.

"Uh...at home," she admitted. Kat got a crazed grin on her face.

"...Crap," Danielle muttered. Yugi then decided to be the hero.

"Maybe I can drive," he suggested. Everyone immediately burst out laughing.

"You're too short to even hit the pedal," Sango giggled.

"HEY!" Yugi exclaimed.

"SO, it's settled, I'm-" Kat started to say, only to be pushed into the backseat.

"I'm driving!" Bakura announced.

Danielle blinked. "Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-"

"NO SWEARING!" Yugi screamed.

"O.O I was going to say," Danielle thought, "uhm, shoot?"

"Riiiiiiiight," Yugi said distrustfully. "You and your Lil' Jon CDs. You're so nasty!"

Danielle raised an eyebrow. "…Nasty, huh? What's wrong with you today?"

Yugi, at this point noticed that Sango was now holding the plushie. He started to shiver, and then cry.

Sango stared at him. "What's wrong with you?" Noticing that Yugi's gaze was directed at the plush toy, she smiled. "Awww, do you wanna hold the plushie?" she inquired.

Yugi's screech was loud: "NOOOOOOOOO!"

"…Ok. Never mind, then. 0.0"--Later--

"Are we there yet?" mewed Kat.

"No," Bakura replied.

"...How about now?" Kat asked.

"NO!" Bakura said, growing impatient.

"...Now?"

"Yes."

Kat's eyes lit up. "Really?" she asked.

"NO!" Bakura yelled.

Suddenly, realization dawned on Danielle. "...We let him drive?" she gasped in horror.

"Um… Yeah," Yugi said, who was regretting sharing a seatbelt with Danielle.

Sango sweatdropped. "Yeah...man, you're clueless," she said.

Somehow, the plushie landed into Yugi's lap. He promptly started screaming. Danielle threw her hands over her ears. "Quit it!" she whined.

"What is wrong with you Yugi?" Kat demanded. "It's a plushie!"

"It's _alive,_" Yugi stated.

"... Ha ha ha haha!" Everyone was laughing.

"You're so funny, Yugi!" Sango grinned.

"That's why he's so great!" Danielle said.

"But… Danielle…" Yugi was afraid. "We t-_talked_ about this and you said… because the tag was blue…"

Danielle shot him a confused look. "What?" she said.

"B-But I…"

"Quiet, Yugi," Bakura barked. "I can't concentrate when you're stuttering like that."

"O.O You concentrate!" Danielle exclaimed, surprised.

Sango looked at Yugi. "…Yugi, maybe you just need some sleep. You do look very tired." Yami, because we haven't mentioned him at all, nodded furiously.

Kat took the plushie from Yugi and held it close to his face. "Come on now, look at this plushie's innocent face," she said.

Yugi glared at the toy and muttered some choice words.

"O.O Yugi!" Kat cried.

"_Now _who's like Lil' Jon?" Danielle elbowed him, glaring.

Kat pulled the plushie back with a 'hmph'.

"The freaking thing wants to kill us all!" Yugi said, adding gratuitous exclamation marks.

"ALL OF YOU SHUT UP!" Bakura shouted.

Danielle replied with, "OKAY!"

Meanwhile, Yami, who had been silent all this time, said…

"...Sango, was that YOU who let that?"

"EXCUSE ME?" Sango said, pissed.--30 hectic minutes later...--

"WE'RE HHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEE!" Kat shrieked.

"We knew that already genius," Sango stated. Kat didn't listen and ran to the party, throwing the plushie to Yugi. Said midget handed the plushie to Danielle without a word.

"Yugi, what's wrong?" Danielle asked, holding the plushie to her chest. Said toy giggles and holds out a knife towards her.

Yugi got a huge horrified face. Danielle blinked, seeing Yugi staring her down.

"Are you... PERV!" she yelled. She wanted very much to smack Yugi, but because of his sleepless night she looked half-dead already, so she just walked away in a huff.

"O.O But I… you… WAIT!"

"Stupid perv," Danielle muttered to herself.

Sango looked at her strangely. "What happened?" she inquired.

"NOTHING!" Danielle snapped.

"…Ooook then… can I hold the plushie?" Sango asked

"Be my friggin' guest." Danielle tossed the plushie at Sango's face, who went o.o as she caught it and hugged it.

Sango looked after Danielle as she dissipated into the meager crowd. "What's wrong with _her?_" she wondered, watching people dance. Kat was already in a dancing frenzy, doing the tango with Bakura, who could tango surprisingly well for a tomb robber.

"AAAAAAAAH!" screamed Yugi.

Sango face faulted. "And what's wrong with _him?_" Suddenly... some... RAP played! O.O Dun dun duuuuun!

_Hey... girl... you... make... my... whis...tle... blow._

"O.O;;;" 'said' Yugi.

"o.o" 'said' Kat.

"Hey!" Danielle grinned. "I know this song!"

"You would," Yami muttered.

"Hey!" Danielle shouted.

Meanwhile, the plushie now somehow appeared in Yugi's arms with a HUGE butcher knife, the likes of which Pyramid Head wishes he had.

Sango, plushieless, started dancing to Juelz Santana. Danielle stood next to her, despite us obviously saying she was somewhere else.

"Kind of weird, Sango," Danielle said, before copying Sango's movements.

"O.O Shoooooooooooooooooooooot," said Yugi.

Yami gave him a quizzical look. "Why'd you say 'shot'?" he asked.

"I said shoot."

"No," Yami argued, "you just said 'shot' and dragged it o a bit."

Yugi stared at him. "…Would you like a plushie?" he asked.

Yami grinned. "Sure!"

Yugi chucked the plushie at his darker half's head. "TAKE IT!" he shouted.

Yami caught it adroitly. "Thanks Yugi!" he… thanked. "I sure am glad to have a great friend like you," he added, before walking off.

Poor little Yugi… was overridden with guilt.

Later!

"…Whatever happened to Yami?" Kat wondered.

"What do you mean?" Yugi asked, out on the dance floor. Not that he was dancing, mind you. Just standing there, wondering whatever happened to the plan of DDR.

"I haven't seen him around," Kat explicated.

"O.O YOU HAVEN'T?"

"No… there's no reason to shout; the music's loud enough in this place." Kat gave Yugi an odd look.

"O.O I'll be right back!" Our short friend rushed off.

Kat looked after him. "What?" she wondered.

In a bathroom...

Yami was tied up in chains and has Kat's dirty sock in his mouth, with the plushie walking towards him menacingly with the butcher knife. Suddenly, like some corny soap opera, Yugi burst the door down.

"I'LL SAVE YOU!" he yelled as he kicked the plushie into the toilet. "There!" he said.

Later, Yugi untied Yami. "Yugi! What if I'd been going? You could've walked in on me!" Yami said.

Yugi shook his head. "Ungrateful," he started, but at that awkward moment, Kat came in to use the toilet and spotted Yugi and Yami.

"o.o Ummm…"

Yugi sighed. "Girls bathroom is to the RIGHT, not the left," he told her.

"o.0 Okay."

Dang, there's a lot of faces in this chapter. Anyhoo! Later…

"Here Sango. Hold the plushie," Yugi said, giving Sango a toilet smelling plushie.

"'Kay!" Sango agreed, taking the plushie. "o.o Why is it wet?" she asked. Yugi walked away without explaining anything. The girl shrugged and cradled the plushie.

"Hey Sango! I wanna hold the plushie!" Danielle said happily.

"Kay," Sango said, giving the plushie to Danielle.

"Thanks!" Danielle said. "…Kind of wet," she observed. "…Ah well. I'll place it on the counter, then."

"'Kay," said Sango.

Danielle set the plushie on the counter. The plushie, for the first time since the beginning of this chapter, was all alone.

The wittle plushie looked ready to cry. Kat ran in and suddenly hugged the plushie, her face all lit up.

"O.O" said Yugi classically. "There is _always _someone cuddling with that plushie," he observed.

"Well, _I _don't want to cuddle it," Yami said. "And I got some toilet water on my new black books."

"…Boots look weird on you," Yugi said off-handedly. "Anyway, I'm thinking that if the plushie is left alone, with no one to cuddle it, then maybe it can't survive!"Yami stared. "Yugi... it's a plushie," he said. Yugi sweatdropped. "Yeah... well we've got to try something don't we?" he said.

"Meh," Yami said, if you can call that a word.

"It tried to kill you! Don't you care?" Yugi exclaimed.

"...Not really," Yami said as he walked away funny in his boots.

Kat cradled the plushie with a grin on her face. Just watching the demonic sight made the hair on the back of the World Champion's duelist's neck go up. "Brr…" He shivered.

"You're cold Yugi?" Kat asked, smiling. "I know what will cheer you up!" She threw the plushie into his arms and stepped back to admire the sight. "Awww! You two are sooo cute!" she said, and with double exclamation marks, you know she meant it.

Yugi paused. "Kat…" he said, "can I borrow the plushie for awhile?"

Kat's eyes shone in surprise. "Sure Yugi!"

Yugi returned the shoujo eye effect. "Thanks!" he said, rushing off into another room. Kat watched him.

Her eyes darkened. "Uh-oh…" she said.

In the other room..

Yugi places the plushie in a wastebasket with the top on. "Can't see you now, can they Talsie poo?" he said, sounding evil.

--Later--

Kat sobs loudly. "I can't find my plushie!" she yelled.

"Huh?" Danielle asked. Yugi came in.

"What's wrong Kat?" he asked. Kat looked up.

"Yugi, where did you put my plushie!" she said.

Sango blinked. "Wha?" she said.

Kat pointed at Yugi accusingly. "He said he wanted to DO SOMETHING with the plushie and that's the last time I saw it!"

Yami stared again. "…Yugi, I didn't know you liked the plushie enough to kiss it."

"I'm gonna pretend you didn't hear that and that you're not so stupid," Yugi declared. "Anyway, I didn't do anything with your plushie, Kat. I just held it, and then put it on the counter."

Bakura came out holding the two-tailed toy at this time. "Can someone tell me why this perfectly good plushie was lying in a waste basket?" he asked.

"..." Kat swelled, resembling a large, demon-form Inuyasha. "YUUUUUUUUUUUGI!" she cried.

"Actually, there's only one _or_ two U's in my name," he replied informatively.

"WHY DID YOU DO THAT TO MY PPPPPPLLLLLLLUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHIIEEEEEEEEE?" she wailed.

A security person appeared. "Um, Ma'am? We're going to have to ask you to leave," he said.

"We were just leaving." Danielle said as she grabbed the shoulder part of Kat's shirt and tugged on it. The said blonde psycho now had a chainsaw and was trying to kill Yugi.

"O.O Can't we talk about this!" Yugi pleaded.

Kat glared. "NEVE—sure. Why not?"

"Whew!" Yugi wiped beads of sweat from above his eyes.

"In HELL!" Kat declared, revving up the chainsaw.

"AHHH!"

"Okay we're out of here," Danielle said as she dragged a screaming Kat off.

--Later--

"I'll never get rid of this plushie." Yugi sighed.

"...Your girlfriend thinks you're crazy," Yami said, sitting near Yugi.

"..Yeah? That sucks," Yuggers replied.

"Yeah," Yami said, grinning, "so I'm gonna steal her away while you look stupid!"

"WHAT!" Yugi looked up, but Yami had already disappeared. "NANI?" he shouted, just in case the walls were listening.

In the Kitchen…

Kat was trying to calm down by eating ice cream.

"It's okay…" Danielle said. "Don't worry about it… Yugi's dumb."

"Sob."

"It's okay…" Danielle said. "Don't worry about it… Yugi's dumb."

"Sob."

"It's okay…" Danielle said. "Don't worry about it… Yugi's dumb."

"Sob."

"It's o—STOP CRYING!"

"o.o; …Okay." Kat turned into a chibi, while Danielle looked enraged.

Danielle huffed. "YUGI is such a JERK! I don't know WHY he would throw a perfectly good toy in the TRASH! " she said.

Yami walked in. "Hello," he said, smiling like a sunflower, obviously up to something evil.

"Hello," Danielle said curtly. "...Hi." Kat muttered.

"How are you girls doing?" Yami asked.

"Cruddy," Danielle answered moodily.

"Ah. Stinks," Yami said.

"Mm-hm," Danielle said as Kat sniffled.

Yami suddenly produced a rose. "For you Danielle-chan," he said, putting on his most charming face.

"o.o" was Kat's expression.

Danielle look'd at Yami blankly. "…Okay," he said, shrugging.

"Eh?" The ex-Pharaoh face-faulted as Danielle turned back to her distraught friend.

"So, Kat, are you feelin' any better?" she asked.

"Yeah, a little bit,' was the reply.

"Cool. Let's go play Tetris on the Xbox!" Danielle suggested.

"Wait..I...eh?" Yami asked as the rose drooped and died.

"Cool!" Kat said as both girls walked off.

Yami blinked. " This might be harder than I thought... " he said. Yami then saw the plushie on the table. "I could blame Yugi for hiding it again..." He then grinned. "Then maybe Danielle will be so mad at Yugi, she'll like me instead. ...Or she might just get mad again and focus only on being mad at Yugi. ...I could blame it on Bakura."

Yami smiled. "I do love blaming things on the thief," he said happily.

"Really?" Bakura popped up behind him.

"AH!" Yami shouted. The tomb robber crossed his arms and gave Yami 'the look'.

"…Wanna help me get a girlfriend?" Yami asked.

"No," was the reply.

"Please? I'll share her."

"0.0 There's a lot of faces in this chapter. …Who?"

"Danielle."

"Not interested."

"PLEASE!" Yami squealed like Kat's annoying 8 year old cousin when he wanted candy and Yu-Gi-Oh cards.

"No!" Bakura said.

"OH PLEASE!" Yami screamed, getting a sickening puppy eye look.

"Don't make me swear at you!" Bakura yelled.

Yami's puppy eyes intensified. Bakura took a step back. "S-Stop looking at me like that," he commanded. But Yami didn't. "I'll send you to the Shadow Realm," he added roughly.

"Nooooooooo! Pleeeeeeeeease!" Yami wailed, all the while keeping up his puppy eyes routine.

"...AHHHHHHHH!" Bakura yelled as he ran out of the room screaming. Yugi sees this.

"What the duck?" he said, watching Bakura run through the brick wall. "Totally out of character," he remarked, and then began to suck his thumb. Yami sighs, sits on stool that magically appeared, and drinks milk from the carton.

MEANWHILE, with Kat...

"Tetris!" Kat squealed, feeling better.

"O.O I should've chosen a game I am better that," Danielle stated. Kat looked at Danielle all chibi-like.

"Let's play again!" she said.

"...How about we play Resident Evil?" Danielle suggested.

"Kay!" Kat exclaimed. Danielle grinned.

"KAY! I'll set up the Gamecube," she said as she started unplugging and plugging things, while Kat watched her.

Yugi walked in, visibly shaken. Kat glared at him, but seeing how he was shaking, she was still a little bit concerned.

"What's wrong Phil?" She asked.

Yugi blinked at her. "…I'm Yugi," he corrected. "…And I haven't seen Hiei _all _day."

Danielle didn't even look up as the words "uh-oh" emitted from her lips."I'm afraid he's chewing on the electric wires again." Yugi sighed.

Danielle got a tiny shock. "OW!"

"Again?" Kat asked.

"Maybe," Yugi said.

Danielle got up. "Well, Yuggers, let's check it out. Kat, you wait here." she said.

"Ok," Kat agreed. Danielle and Yugi left her inside. Just then… the lights went out! Oooh, how spooky.

"0.0"

Well, Kat thought it was spooky, anyway.

The plushie crept in, evil grin all aglow. Resident Evil music played, from above and below! Ooh… a rhyme!

Kat looked around nervously. The plushie suddenly appeared, cosplaying as Chris Redfield, complete with Chris Redfield's flamethrower. "What's the matter?" it taunted in Tail's innocent voice. "You like Resident Evil, don't you?"

"…Tails?"

"Almost. I'm sorry my sweet kitty, but it's time to—"

Someone opened the door to the room, like a prayer answered. "Hey, why are the lights off?" came a questioning voice. A moment later the lights were flicked on."0o Is that you?" Kat asked, Edward Elric stood there.

"Yep!" he said.

"You're here! And not chewing on anything!" Kat said. Ed smiled.

"Nope! No more fish for me!" he said proudly.

"...Were you making those noises then?" Kat asked.

"What noises?" Ed asked. The plushie coughed dryly.

"What was that?" Ed inquired.

"I—I don't know!" Kat said, ever so oblivious to her evil toy's antics, even when the plushie set off in a fit of hacking coughs.

"Kat, you must be feeling weird," Ed said, and he led her downstairs.

"Yeah…" Kat said, as Ed pushed her down the hallway. "But… the whole time in that house, I sensed that something was wrong," she said, trying to quote The Grudge.

"…Que?"

She shook her head. "Never mind."

Ed sighed. "Whatever," he said, taking her into the living room.

Meanwhile!

"Oh," Danielle gushed, "it's not Hiei! It's a Pikachu! Like in that manga!"

"Ah… yeah," said Yugi, watching the electric rodent gnaw on their wires, which for some reason were exposed on the roof.

"It's cute!" Danielle continued. "I shall take it, and train it, and teach it how to dance!"

"You do that," Yugi encouraged sarcastically. Undeterred by Yugi's "wit," Danielle scooped up the Pikachu.

"Pika Pika!" the Pok'emon cried as she carried in down the large ladder that was placed on the side of the house. Once they were safely down on the ground, Yugi wiggled his eyebrows and elbowed her.

"You know… I happen to be fluent in Pok'espeak," he bragged.

Danielle smiled on him, happy there were more cute things around her. "Oh yeah?" she asked.

"...You don't want to know what that Pikachu just called you," Yugi said.

"...A scheming hoebag?" Danielle said.

Yugi's face: o.o "Yeah...how did you know?" he asked.

"There was a seminar on Pok'espeak at out highschool last year." she explained.

"PIKA!" Pikachu squeaked.

Danielle and Yugi's face: two capital O's with many, many underscores in-between.

Kat and Ed, hearing the large amount of squeaking outside, decide to romp around al fresco in search of the disturbance.

"Hey guys," Kat called when she spotted in friends. "…What's wrong?"

Ed sweat dropped at the scene before him; Danielle was spraying Pikachu with a spray bottle and crying out "BAD Pikachu! BAD!"

"...What did I miss?" Kat asked.

"Huh?" Ed asked.

"PKA PIKA!" Pikachu said. Yugi gasped.

"HOW DARE YOU!" he yelled.

Kat and Ed just wore freaked expressions.

"I can't believe this Pikachu is so rude! Insulting you uncle, AND quoting Terrence and Phillip! Insane!" Danielle exclaimed.

"...Euthanize it, maybe?" Yugi asked.

"You shouldn't be so mean," Danielle started to say, but the Pikachu was already freaked out.

"PIKA!" it shouted as it darted away.

"GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE RODENT!" Yugi shouted.

"Meh… let it go," Danielle shrugged. "Maybe it has a trainer nearby or something."

"Meh…" Yugi sulked. "Where's Hiei?

"...I think he went to a spa," Danielle said, getting looks from the other three.

"Wha?" Kat said dumbly.

"Yeah, where did that come from?" Yugi asked.

Danielle shrugged. "I dunno. Just a guess."

Meanwhile... at Pegasus' day spa!

Pegasus greed his favorite customer with a large smile. "Welllllllllcome back, Hiei-boy!" he sang.

Hiei smiled.

Back at the house:

Kat looked around. "Where's plushie?" she asked.

Ed blinked. "Plushie?" he wondered.

"The evil plushie," Yugi explained with a sigh.

"…This house is kind of a Mecca for strange things, isn't it?" Ed concluded.

"Yeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh...nobody told us that when we bought it off a little kid for three lollipops," Danielle said.

Ed got a freaked out face and Kat sighed.

"Yeah," she said.

"...You bought this house off a kid?" Ed asked with a sweatdrop.

"Sad ne?" Yugi answered.

"Kinda…" Ed scratched his head. "I bought the Philosopher's stone off of a toad once. But they had to cut that part out of the anime for budget reasons."

Yugi nodded sympathetically. "Ah, stupid budget cuts. There was going to be this whole segment about Seto's career as an interpretive dancer, but they cut that out, too. And it made his character make so much more sense."

While Ed and Yugi reminisced about those darn budget cuts, Danielle and Kat were proceeding with a dangerous activity: eating candy.

Kat was eating pixie sticks without a care in the world.

Danielle asked, "Is this an appropriate time to do this?"

"So it's evil?" Ed asked of the plushie.

"YES!" Yugi yelled.

"No it's not!" Kat said with a grin, acting like the lovable naive baka that she is.

Yugi then pointed up in the air, where the plushie was flying with a chainsaw. "Then what do you call THAT?" he yelled.

"...Someone else's plushie." Kat suggested.

Yugi snapped his fingers in that snazzy way ghetto girls do. "Onna please!" he said derogatively.

"It just can't be my lil' plushie!" Kat sobbed.

"…You're dense," Ed concluded.

"Just a little," Danielle said.

Just then, Pikachu appeared and bit Yugi's leg.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! GET IT OFF!"

"…This is a dismal weekend," Danielle decided.

"YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO SAY THAT!"

Ed then turned to Kat, while Yugi ran around in the background with the Pikachu biting his butt.

"Wanna go shopping?" he asked as if the conversation with evil plushies and budget cuts never happened.

Kat grinned. "Okay!" she said. Both then walk off as Pikachu turns Yugi around on a spit over a cooked figure like the midget is a roast pig. Danielle just stares on at the two retreating blondes.

"...Do you think Hiei will take kindly to Kat going out with other guys?" she asked.

Yugi then somehow escaped the spit and fire. "They're not technically 'going out'." he said as he was tackled by Pikachu.

"OOF!"

Danielle blushed. "No, but they're spending part of their day together," she pointed out shyly, looking meaningfully at Yugi. However, Yugi didn't notice, because his attention was preoccupied by the Pok'emon whose mandible was crushing into his femur.

"Only if Hiei sees them," Yugi said. "The spa is at the mall. Let's hope they don't go there."

But, AT THE MALL!

Kat and Ed (who were already there, by some way—try not to think to hard about it) were looking at CDs.

Ed pointed one out. "This one looks good," he said.

"Lemme see," Kat said, getting close to Ed. At that moment, Hiei came out of the spa.

"Kat will love my new silk-smooth skin!" Hiei thought to himself… right before he saw Kat. With Ed. His eyes became as large as saucers. "K-Kat?" he whined in a sad voice.

Beside Hiei, Yugi and Danielle were dressed in tuxedos and playing the violins.

Kat looks at CD happily. "Awesome! I'm gonna buy that!" she said. Ed got a face on.

"The Ying Yang Twins CD?" he asked. Kat smiled.

"It has 'Wiggle then Move' on it! The edited version." she said. Ed sighed. "Whatever you say," he said.

Meanwhile, Hiei stared at Danielle and Yugi like they were crazy. "When did you two learn to play the violin? And why are you dressed as penguins?" he asked.

"Just because we in tuxes, don't mean we no penguins!" Yugi said.

"I'M A BIIIIIIIIIIIIIRD! WHEEEEEEEEEE!" Danielle said, flapping her arms. Yugi sweat dropped. Danielle pointed toward Kat. "Go, Hiei! Go on a jealous rampage!"

"RIGHT!" Hiei stomped over to Kat and Ed, while Yugi slapped his palm on his forehead, and then on Danielle's.

Kat got a face on. "Hiei?" she asked.

"WHAT IS THIS ABOUT?" Hiei roared as he pointed at...the CD.

Kat blinked. "Nani?" she asked.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THIS CD?" Hiei yelled.

Kat blinked. "...I'm going to buy it," Kat replied.

Hiei's eyes became verrrrrrry large. "No. Way," he said.

"Umm...way."

"Don't you know Danielle ordered that CD online? You'll waste your money when it arrives a few days from now!" Hiei walked off in a huff.

"...I don't think he's getting this whole 'jealousy' thing," Yugi observed.

Danielle shaded her eyes as she watched the demon. "I can't believe Hiei's become so stupid in this fic," was her observation.

"I know...what happened tp him?" Kat asked as she went to buy a 'Linkin Park' cd instead. Ed sweatdrops.

"It must have something to do with Pegasus' demasculating influence," Yugi said, sounding british and intelligent for a moment.

Ed and Kat just stared. Danielle blinked.

"You just said a word that was-" she stopped for a moment and began to count on her fingers. "13 fingers long!" she finished.

"..You mean words," Yugi said.

"Yeah." Danielle said.

"So...what do we do about Hiei? Ed? What do you think?" Kat asked, turning to the blonde boy.

Ooh, which blonde boy? Why, Ed! Ed shrugged. "I'm not sure," he admitted.

"…Me neither," Kat said. She turned to Danielle and Yugi. "You guys have any ideas?"

Danielle bit her tongue. "We-_ell..." _she started to say.

"Yes?" Yugi prompted.

"I did see this thing on HBO once...they caught this guy in a movie with a net..." she said. Yugi gave Danielle a odd look.

"Do you think that's necessary?" he asked. Kat blinked while Ed sweatdropped.

Pikachu jumped out of nowhere and attacked Yugi. Hiei was looking curiously at a Vicky's Secret display.

"…Yeah. I think it is," Danielle says. "I think our friend needs therapy there. He hasn't been his usually dastardly self." Danielle closely observed her demon friend, paying no mind (or perhaps not realizing) to the Pikachu.

"PIKA!" Pikachu thunderbolted Yugi in the middle of the mall.

Yugi felt like he was in hell. "Team Yugi's blasting off aggggaaaaaiiinnn!" he yelled as he was shot out of the mall.

Danielle finally turned around. "...Mm'kay. What do you think, Yugi?...Yugi?" she said, now lookign around for her short boyfriend. Kat and Ed blinked.

--BACK AT THE HOUSE!--

Kat put down the phone. "I called up a good therapist!" she revealed, excited.

"I still can't believe how we caught Hiei," Ed said.

Danielle grinned. "Yeah!" she agreed. "That was really easy."

_-flashback-_

"_But where are we going to find a net?" Kat wondered._

_Like a poignant butterfly, a net floated gently down from the mall's roof and into the hands of our favorite alchemist._

"_That's convenient," Ed commented._

"_Huh." Danielle looked up and into the rafters of the mall. "This place must have plotholes in its ceiling, too. So it's not just our roof. That's nice to know."_

"_HIEI!" Kat readied the net. "I have cookies!"_

_-end flashback-_

"He really likes cookies huh?" Ed said. Kat nodded.

"he enarly bit my hand off!" she excalimed. Meanwhile, Hiei sat in stone cage Danielle kept, eating cookies like a wild animal.

"So..who did you call?" Ed asked. Kat shrugged.

"Not sure. The guy said he'd be here in a few minutes and not to worry," she said.

"…Weird," Ed said, as the doorbell rang.

"o.o We have a doorbell?" Danielle marveled.

"Seems so," Kat said, a bit surprised herself. She opened the door.

A fat stomach greeted her.

"HELLO!" Bobasa boomed.

"O------0 Who's THAT?" Ed wondered.

"Welcome home, Bobasa-san!" Danielle greeted. Kat moved out of the way, leaving plenty of room for Bobasa to get into the house with minimal damage to the doorframe. "Bobasa-san, we're expecting somebody to come by soon!" Danielle said.

"Since when do you call him Bobasa-san?" Kat asked.

"Meh." Danielle shrugged. The doorbell then rang again.

"I'll get it!" Danielle said way too cheerfully and opened it up.

Whoever stood at the door was in for a strange sight: Danielle, looking overly cheerful (having probably drank a Vault or two); Ed, standing there looking very confused; Kat, looking nervous; a gigantic man who could crush them all and Hiei in a stone cage eating cookies. However, THIS person was prepared.

"O.O Vegeta?"

Meanwhile...

Yugi had a walking stick and wass making his way up a mountain. He looked all scorched.

"I'll get you for this, Pikachu…" Yugi swore, gasping for breathe. "Gah! Now I know how Almond from that _other _Pok'emon manga felt." He fell to the ground and panted.

_PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE REVIEW! It's my (Danielle's) birthday today! C'mon. Please?_


	9. I forgot what we were going to call this

"Yeah, that's my name," Vegeta answered gruffly. "What of it?"

"Oh," Danielle said, feeling a bit threatened as Vegeta crossed his arms. "N-Nothing about it. It's a lovely name." "It is quite a pretty name," Kat said. Ed sweatdropped.

"So...where's the patient?" Vegeta asked. Everyone pointed to the rabid Hiei. Hiei was, at this time, finished with his cookie banquet and was now trying to know off his hand at the right.

Vegeta face-faulted, before the trademark "you are _sooooo _pathetic" smirk crossed his features.

"Yeah...this was once the great Hiei. Now he's just an idiot," Ed said. Kat nodded.

Vegeta scoffed. "It looks like he's always been an idiot to me," he remarked loudly. Everyone in the room cringed, expecting Hiei to "get groovy" on Vegeta's ass. But he didn't. Instead, the demon continued gnawing on the now bleeding appendage.

"That's kind of gross," decided Sango.

Kat nodded. Ed looked at said girl. "How did you fall in love with that guy?" he asked.

"I question that even today," Kat replied, everyone sweat dropping.

"It's a relationship I highly encourage," Danielle shared with a smile. "It makes my relationship with Yugi-kun look normal. ...Where is Yugi, anyway?"

Meanwhile, Yugi was in a taxi.

"Step on it, maestro," Yugi instructed. The cab driver politely corrected him, saying that his name was actually Abdulio.

Yugi sweat dropped. "Whatever," he said, and the taxi car drove off with him.

--Back at the House--

Vegeta is dressed as a psychiatrist, and is sitting in a big plush chair next to Hiei, who is nibbling on his foot.

"Tell me about your childhood," Vegeta demanded. Hiei, noticing the Saiyan (or Saiya-jin, if you please) had muscles bordering on the size of watermelons, obliged.

"I was a wee wisp of a thing when I first learned to play the bagpipes," Hiei began. Vegeta stood up in a rage.

"BAGPIPES! You should have been learning to ANNIHILATE your enemies!" Vegeta said disgustedly. "No wonder you're such a pansy!"

Kat, Ed, and Danielle in the meantime, were playing videogames.

"WE WIN!" Kat shouted, and Danielle and she started jumping up and down. Kat pulled Danielle into a victory hug.

"Owch!" Danielle complained. "Please don't do that. I have a sunburn on my back."

"o.o Sorry," Kat said, pulling away.

Just then, Yugi arrived.

"HERE I AM!" he announced, grinning like a crazy man. The rotting squirrels tried to tug me under during the bus ride home, but I'm all right!"

Since everyone promptly ignored him, Yugi did the next thing that came into his small little mind... he glomped Danielle.

Kat became alarmed. "NO! YUGI WAIT! SHE HAS SUNBURN!" she yelled.

Yugi gasped, and struggled to stop himself in mid-glomp… and succeeded. Kat marveled at Yugi, who was hanging in mid-air like something out of the Matrix.

"How am I doing this?" Yugi asked. Of course, this caused him to promptly fall straight down, the wind knocked out of him as his stomach hit the floor full force. "OOOOF."

Hiei ran past the room. "BUTTER!" he screamed.

"I think Hiei's become more fun lately," Danielle noted cheerfully.

Kat smiled. "The therapy must've helped him," she said. Vegeta came running in, his doctor's cape flying in the breeze.

"Come back her moron! I'm not done diagnosing you!" he yelled, grabbing Hiei, who screamed like a baby.

"What a whiner," Vegeta said.

"NUUUUUUUUUU!" Hiei cried out as he was dragged slowly away. His fingernails scraped against the wooden floor (which still had the odd rotten shrimp here or there).

Ed, our alchemist friend, sweat dropped. "Wow," was all he said. Kat sweat dropped.

"So...while Hiei is going through torture- I mean, therapy...who wants to listen to my new BoA CD? They sing an Inuyasha ending and-" Danielle started to say, only to see no one paying attention to her and watching Hiei as said demon disappeared around the corner.

"Never mind," she said. Danielle then turned to Kat. "Oh, Kat! That CD you were gonna buy at the mall! The one that defames women and glorifies stripping!" she said with such happiness, that it made Kat sweatdrop.

"...Yeah?"

"Wanna listen to it?" Danielle asked excitably.

"SURE!"

Yugi despaired. "I'll _NEVER _understand this _HOUSE_!" he declared once again, fervently.

"o.o;;;" 'said' Ed.

"This house isn't the one talking, Yugi-kun," Kat reminded the short teen for the umpteenth time.

Yugi despaired again. "Brain… hurting…"

Kat was singing loudly in the living room, Ed wanted Kat to shut up, Yugi was already trying to strangle her, and Danielle was also singing a song loudly.

"…DOESN'T IT DISTURB YOU," Ed asked Yugi in his loudest possible voice, "THAT THEY'RE SINGING ABOUT STRIPPERS?"

"O.O _This _song is about strippers too!"

"WHAT?" Ed yelled. "I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"

"DANIELLE!" Yugi yelled.

"YEAH?" Danielle yelled back.

"TURN IT OFF!" Yugi yelled as loud as possible. Danielle then turned off the music, but Kat kept on going.

"Take that, that off! Take that, that off-oops," Kat sang/said after hearing the music stop. "Hehehe," she said, blushing.

"Is there a problem?" Danielle asked, trying to sound innocent.

Meanwhile...

Vegeta ceased tapping his pencil to a beat. "What happened to the music?" he wondered, as Hiei continued to tell him about the pony the poor demon never got to have.

Back in the room

"That was a great song!" Kat cheered. Yugi blinked at her.

"I'll never understand this house, or her," he said, pointing at Kat.

"The house doesn't talk, Yugi," Danielle reminded him, wiping off with a towel the EXTREME SWEAT that comes with EXTREME singing.

"Oh," Yugi said flatly. "Thanks for telling me."

"No problem," Danielle said, sitting down next to him and wrapping her arms around his waist.

Yugi's face resembled two uppercase O's with many, many underscores between them. "What?" he asked suspiciously.

"What?" Danielle innocently mirrored.

"Why are you being nice to me?" Yugi demanded, freaked.

"Because I love you, you snuggly midget you!" she squealed. A shocked expression seized Yugi's face.

"WHO ARE YOU AND WHERE'S THE REAL DANIELLE?" he yelled. "And you forgot to say that you're only an inch taller than me!"

"..." Danielle sweat dropped. "Ok, so I have a favor to ask you and I'm sucking up," she confessed.

"That's more like it." Yugi crossed his arms. "So, what's this favor? Does it involve going outside? Because the squirrels gave the yakuza my number."

"...What squirrels?"

"Weren't you paying attention to me earlier? The squirrels that tried to drag me under the bus!"

Danielle mouthed 'wow,' while Kat shook her head sadly.

"...I wanted to know if I could keep Orange," Danielle said with a puppy face.

"...Orange? Who's Orange?" Yugi asked.

"PIKA!"

"NOOOOOOOOOO!" Yugi screamed, as the obviously yellow, non-orange Pikachu looked up at him with a snaggletooth grin.

"Please?" Danielle begged, clasping her hands together in a praying stance. She tried to make her eyes watery and wobbly.

The Pikachu smiled. "Pikachu!" Orange leapt nimbly onto the lap of the boy with tri-colored hair. The Duel Monsters champion held his breath, very, very afraid.

"...PIKACHU!" Yugi was thunderbolted.

"Please?" Danielle asked again, her hair very frizzy due to static electricity.

Kat grinned and petted the Pikachu, hearing it purr like a cat. Suddenly!

The Tails plushie landed on Yugi's head, since it had been forgotten for the past 4.55 hours.

Yugi fainted dead away into Danielle's lap, which the brunette didn't really appreciate. She picked up and examined the Tails plushie's tag. "Is there really such a toy company as _Mafia, _Inc?" she inquired.

"Maybe!" Kat chirped.

"…" Danielle suddenly scowled. "EW! This Tails plushie has a hole in it! …We'll just have to throw it away."

"I can sew it!" Kat said, suddenly wearing a superhero cape that nobody remembered ever seeing before.

"Can you sew?" Danielle asked apprehensively.

Kat grinned. "Remember when I took those classes every Tuesday night?"

"…Oh yeah."

Hiei poked his head inside the room to put in his two cents' worth. "I remember you coming home with your hands all bloody every Tuesday," is what he said.

"GET BACK HERE!" Vegeta's voice echoed somewhere from within the bowels of the house. ...What an awful word. _Bowels._

"O.O" Hiei crawled back to Vegeta, making noises like Dr. Zoidberg. "Whoop whoopwhoopwhoop whoopwhoopwhoop!"

Kat sweat dropped with a grin. "Well...those chipmunks had it coming," she said.

"OO You killed chipmunks?" Danielle asked.

"Yeah, I thought that was building up to you sucking at sewing," Ed confessed.

Kat glared hard at him. "Actually, in my sewing class I was known as the... NEEDLE NINJA!"

"Of course," Ed said. "I'm beginning to see how this house works."

"It's just wood and plaster and stuff!" Danielle said.

"Nobody can just know how to sew. You either have to suck at it, or be some sort of ninja," Ed concluded.

Kat suddenly began sewing up the plushie in a fast pace. 00.1 seconds later, she finished.

"Finished!" she said. See?

"Was 'see' supposed to be between quotation marks?" Ed asked.

"SSH!" Danielle glared. "You're breaking the fourth wall!" The brunette turned to admire Kat's fine sewing job. "That looks great, Kat!" she exclaimed. "Hey, wait. That plushie has a _red _tag."

Kat examined the toy, bringing her eye a quarter of an inch away from said tag of rouge coloring. "Hey! You're right!" she said. "But then where's the real Tails plushie!"

In Tokyo...

The Tails plushie had become a giant as was smashing buildings, crushing Japanese people under its mighty plush foot, and battling Godzilla.

"We all did it together!" he quoted from Sonic Adventure 2: Battle. Godzilla looked at him oddly.

In the house that Yugi will never understand...

"Maybe this plushie won't come alive," Danielle mused.

Kat blinked naively. "That other one wasn't really alive, was it?" she asked. Danielle blinked.

"...I thought you knew! I was just pretending not to know to drive Yugi crazy," she said. Nearby, the passed out Duel champion twitched in his sleep.

"...It was really ALIVE? My wil' plushie?" Kat asked with a quivering lip. Danielle sweatdropped.

"...Kat, it was pretty obvious," she said.

"Ya Da!" Kat yelled, making Ed blink at her.

"Don't you 'no way' me! The fact that Yugi fell from a chandelier wasn't some sort of clue?" Danielle yelled back.

"He had just bought it. It must've been a cheap one. I thought it was just cruddy so it broke," Kat said. Danielle was silent.

"WHAT?" Kat asked confused.

"...Nothing. What about Sango and Yami?" Danielle sighed.

"Sango thought Yugi was crazy too! ...Bakura thought Yugi was acting on some inside joke and taking it too far. I dunno about Yami," Kat replied.

"I HAVE FINISHED WITH HIS THERAPY!" Vegeta said, coming in proudly. "AND I'M READY TO INTERRUPT YOUR PETTY CONVERSATIONS! I PRESENT TO YOU... HIEI!"

Hiei stood proudly in front of the others. "I… am a man!" the demon declared, and he laboriously bent a steel bar to prove it. The others applauded politely.

Hiei then saw a cookie and began to shake. Vegeta immediately took out what seemed to be a remote control, and pressed a button. 1,000 jolts ravaged poor Hiei's body. Heh... _ravaged. _What a silly word.

"How efficient," Danielle chirped. Ed stared on in shock.

"Why yes," Vegeta bragged, "it is… Now, for payment, I require… uh… a CD."

Danielle blinked. "What kind of CD? That's kind of unorthodox," she remarked.

Vegeta shuffled from one foot then the other, quite unlike the Saiya-jin/Saiyan's usual behavior. "...The one you were listening to will do nicely!" he barked, trying to seem tough as he squandered rap CDs away from teenage girls.

Kat blinked, and handed over the CD. Vegeta then GRINNED.

"Gasp," gasped Danielle.

"Gasp," gasped Ed.

"Gasp," snored Yugi.

"What?" Vegeta growled.

"Nothing," said Danielle.

"Nothing," said Ed.

"Gnihton," dias iguY.

"What?" Vegeta yelled. "Maybe I feel _happy_ sometimes!"

Kat sweatdropped. "But, when you're happy, you smirk... never grin... actually, you looked creepy when you grinned." she said.

"Shut up," Vegeta snapped. "Anyway, that's all. Just keep him on a steady diet of blueberries and anything your grandma says is healthy."

Everyone nodded, and Vegeta left through a huge plothole. Danielle stared at this humongous vast... _lacuna_ in... space. "Whoa," she said. "We just used the word lacuna in a fan fiction."

"Is that like _kahuna_?" Ed guessed.

Danielle sweat dropped. "Not quite."

Ed sweatdropped. "Oh."

Later, everyone sat and did... stuff to amuse themselves... like Kat deciding to play hairdresser. She already gave Yugi a mohawk and was working on a frightened Ed.

"...Are you sure this is going to be alright?" Ed asked for the eighth time.

"Natch!" Kat chirped back.

"...Ok," Ed said reservedly.

Yugi was in Danielle's lap sobbing.

"MY HAIR! MY BEAUTIFUL HAIR!" he cried.

Hiei blinked, actually being normal instead of dumb and insane. "...I always thought you didn't have hair and that was a wig," he said.

Awkward silence...

"It'll grow back, Yugi," Danielle teased. All that Kat had really done was put a wig on Yugi and style it while Yugi was sleeping, but the boy with usually tri-colored hair didn't know that, instead believing that Kat had "operated" on his real hair.

Kat then let out a cheer. "I have finished! You look gorgeous Ed!" she said.

...Ed looked… well... girly.

Ed's hair now seemed to have extensions. And, despite the fact that no hair dye had actually been seen in use, Ed's hair had become... purple...

Ed was not impressed at this. Hiei blinked and muttered a ''wow".

"..." Yugi looked woefully and, figuring his hair must be worse, started to cry.

Ed just growled and glared at Kat, who blinked.

"Nani?" She backed away, laughing nervously. "W-What's wrong Ed?"

"I look ridiculous!" the alchemist complained.

"N-No you don't," Kat said. Ed growled and chased Kat around the house, said blonde girl screaming.

"Well!" Danielle said, clapping as if to signal the finale of something. "I think we've reached the saigo of this little... incident..."

"Saigo?"

"Another Japanese word for end."

"Oh." Yugi's curiosity satisfied, he continued to moan and sob into his knees.

"So... let's..." Danielle looked at Hiei curiously. Hiei sweat dropped, as Danielle seemed to be weighing his sanity.

"Let's go out for pizza," Danielle suggested finally. "Domino's."

"You're going to make me homesick, saying Domino like that," Yugi muttered.

Danielle rolled her eyes. "I meant Domino's Pizza, not your hometown, Yuggers."

Kat ran by screaming, Ed chasing her with a HUGE chainsaw.

"O.O Where did he get that?" Hiei asked.

"He's an alchemist. He makes what he wants with alchemy," Yugi said.

"Oh," Hiei said. "...Wait."

5 minutes later...

"KAT GOT A NEW BOYFRIEND!" Hiei screamed. Yugi and Danielle's eyes easily tripled the circumference of saucers.

"Oh, crud," Yugi whispered.

"N-Not real-ly," Danielle gasped out.

Hiei growled and pointed at Kat and Ed, who were still running around the house. "She never did that with me! And those two seem to agree on EVERYTHING!"

"I-I'm sure they're just friends," Danielle said nervously, since Hiei had just taken out his sword.

"You've never chased after Kat with a chainsaw before?" Yugi wondered. "I was sure I remembered... ummmm..."

Hiei growled. "See? I never chased her with a chainsaw! I chased her with a squid at that seafood restaurant 3 weeks ago!"

"...I think Kat likes being chased with a squid rather than a chainsaw, Hiei-chan," Danielle said, as nicely and politely as she could.

"Still I-...WHERE DID THEY GO?" Hiei screamed. Danielle and Yugi looked. Ed and Kat were not in the house.

"Ed has now proposed to her and now they are going to elope in some Caribbean island I've never heard of!" Hiei moaned.

"...Hiei, you're losing it." Yugi stated."NO I'M NOT!" Hiei yelled.

"Hiei, do you want a tuna sandwich?" Danielle asked, remembering the food that Vegeta had prescribed.

Hiei's eyes lit up." Gimme Gimme Gimme!" he squealed.

"...On second thought." Danielle reconsidered. After all, Hiei acting extremely jealous was... _normal..._ Hiei eating tuna was not. "I think we're out," she apologized.

Hiei's face drooped. "Oh... KAT!" he cried.

Yugi sweatdropped. "Where are the two anyway?" he wondered.

"Beats me," Danielle said, leaning back into the couch, settling in and bracing herself for madness that day.

Later

Hiei had called every single person they knew, sweating and twitching.

"It's been too long!" he shouted.

"...Hiei, they've only been gone 5 minutes." Danielle said.Suddenly, the door opens.

"Hi! We're back!" Kat said happily, Ed holding shopping bags.

"WHERE WERE YOU?" Hiei demanded, blowing up to the size of a blimp. Turning to Ed, he demanded in a whisper, "WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER!"

Ed blinked. "Nothing. We just went shopping," he said. Kat sweatdropped. "Yeah, where did you think we were?" she asked.

"Some Caribbean island," Yugi reported.

Ed and Kat blinked. "Wha?" they both asked. Hiei was stuttering.

"B-but you two-I...thought..." he...stuttered.

A light bulb went off above Kat's head.

"YOU'RE NORMAL!" she shouted, excited. She leapt on Hiei, hugging him tight.  
Hiei's face became huge and...happy. He hugged back happily.

Later

Ed, Kat and Yugi were playing videogames, while Danielle gave pointers to Yugi.

"Aim for the head." BAM! The zombie fell over, it's ankles shot off. "Um... good... but not quite."

Kat was shooting like crazy, Ed cheering on like a maniac, since he loved this stuff. Hiei grumbled, already planning to kill Ed, which will never happen since the Ed fangirls would tear him apart.

And so everything was back to "normal".

Until the squirrels popped into the room and began disco-dancing. It happened like this:

"Wow... AIM FOR THE HEAD!--Ow...that's gotta hurt." Danielle winced. She turned to Yugi. "You suck at this game Yuggers," she declared.

"Silence!" Yugi said in a voice like Neptune, God of the Sea. o.O

Suddenly a horde of squirrels barged into the room.


	10. I'll have Kat named this chapter later

Danielle's eyes became as wide as saucers. "What the heck?" she gasped, amazed. Although really, she shouldn't have been—this sort of thing had been happening for awhile now.

"Nooooo!" Kat wailed. "The chipmunks!"

"Kat, these are squirrels," Yugi said, somewhere from underneath the sea of squirrels. Hiei was doing a breaststroke in the sea of squirrels while Ed just floated there.

"Oh," Kat said. She was apparently relieved. Danielle picked up a squirrel by the tail.

"Stupid rodents," she muttered. Orange, who had been sleeping on Yugi's chest before being bombarded by the non-electric rodents, heard this and became... depressed...

"PIKAAAAA!"

"Cheeee!"

"OW!" Yugi screamed, as a jolt seemed to go through his brain. Luckily the squirrels were effected too, writhing on the floor.

Hiei poked the squirrels. "All of them are knocked out," he announced.

"I see...hey, where's Ed!?" Kat asked, looking around. Hiei sniffed.

"Oh sure! Worry about HIM!" he yelled.

Danielle blinked. "But you're fine," she pointed out.

Hiei turned away from the two authoresses in a huff. "I may have feelings, you know," he warned.

"Oh gee," Yugi said in a deadpan voice. "We are so sorry. Not."

"So...yeah where is Ed?" Danielle said. Suddenly!! A sparkly golden note floated from the plothole. Kat grabbed it and read:

Idiot Humans,

We have Edward Elric. if you ever wanna see him again, you must pay the ransom of $4567.00 and 300 acorns. Do it by Tuesday or the short alchemist gets it!

--Berry the squirrel

Awkward silence...

"...well this sucks," Yugi said.

"That's a lot of money," Danielle decided.

"Naw, really?"

Danielle glared at her anime boyfriend, thinking that she should've found someone from a nice shoujo anime.

"We could get jobs!" Kat screamed.

"...Did you have sugar?" Yugi wondered. Danielle gave Kat a surprised glance as well.

"I mean, how else will we get the money!? We're broke!" she said.

"True..." Danielle said apprehensively."You could work at Burger World with Tea!" Yugi suggested. "They have to wear the cutest uniforms... ok, never mind." Yugi scootched away from the two angry girls.

"What about WacDonalds?" Danielle suggested.

"Where?" Kat and Yugi asked at the same time.

"My friend Kagome goes their sometimes," Danielle explained.

"Oh yeah!...I still don't believe that their burgers have meat," Kat said. Yugi sweatdropped.

"Why not?" he asked, though he was afraid to know.

"Well, the last time I ate there, the burger tasted like rubber and plastic." Kat said, scratching her head.

"Kat, that was the fork," Danielle said.

"…Oh. I still don't think they're made of meat!" Kat decided. Danielle and Yugi sweatdropped.

"At any case, I'll go check and see if they have job openings." Danielle sighed.

Hiei, who's been ignored all this time, spoke.

"No one loves me," he said.

"You got that right," Yugi said, making Hiei pout. Kat sweatdropped.

Later, Danielle was on the phone, talking to the manager...who happened to be Professor Banner.

"Of course there are openings!" Professor Banner exclaimed, his eyes, as usual, in their perpetually happy-looking way--two arches up, as they always were, even when he frowned. Of course, Danielle didn't really know this… she was on the phone, after all. But she could guess.

She smiled. "Great! We'll be there in a few minutes!" she said and hung up. "We've been hired... by Banner-sama!" she said.

Kat grinned. "YAY!!!!!" she squealed.

"Did you say you'd be there in a few minutes?" Yugi asked.

"Uhm... yeah."

"Ok. You know Kagome lives in Tokyo, right? And not Domino City, and not anywhere near here?"

"Uh..."

"I didn't think so."

Suddenly, a plothole opened!! Kat blinked.

"That's convenient," she said and she jumped in plothole, Danielle and Yugi behind her. Hiei, being lazy, just sat on the couch and ate chips. Taking the remote in his hands, Hiei switched to Oprah. Yugi stuck his head back into the room.

"You coming Hiei?" asked the (seemingly) disembodied teen.

Hiei struggled with the remote, panicking. "Uh, yeah, as soon as I shut off this TV! The stupid remote's broken, it sent me to Oprah..."

Yugi sweatdropped. "Just leave it," he said, grabbed Hiei by his cloak, and pulled him into the plothole.

--At WacDonalds--

Kat and Danielle look around in awe.

"LOOK! It's the BEATLES!" Kat screamed.

"Uh... that's Kagome and her friends," Danielle said, sweat dropping profusely. She waved to her friend. "Hi Kagome!"

Kagome turned and smiled. "Hey Danielle!" she said with a wave. Kagome's friends, Yuka, Emi, and Who-Cares, looked at Danielle as if she were an alien from outer space.

"YOU KNOW KAGOME TOO!" they demanded angrily, ever Kagome's fan club.

"Uh... yeah," Danielle said unwisely.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Emi screamed. "She is OUR friend!"

"Our friend! Our friend!" Yuka and I-don't-know chanted.

Danielle's eyes became wide. She backed away. Kagome shrugged apologetically.

"Sorry Danielle...they're a little...uhh..." she said. Kat poked her head behind Danielle.

"Insane and obsessed over you so much that it's scary?" she asked. Kagome nodded with a sweatdrop.

"Now you know how I feel!" Kat pouted. "Hiei's always--actually, where is Hiei?"

In the kitchen...

"I don't WANT to work here, Yugi! I don't WANT to help that girlfriend-stealing alchemist!"

Yugi looked at Hiei was a half-lidded glare. "Just shut up and flip burgers," he commanded. Hiei growled and did as he was told.

--Outside--

Kat and Danielle were in PINK uniforms.

"I hate pink!!" Kat declared.The uniforms suddenly turned a vibrant green color.

"...This is much better," Kat said in a satisfied way. Danielle didn't even comment. Kat then went to serve some peoples. "Hi there! May I take your order?" she said cheerfully.

"I'll have a virgin screwdriver," a young man said.

Kat sweat dropped. "That'll be an orange juice..."

"No; not orange juice. A virgin screwdriver."

"...K," Kat said.

Kat went over to Danielle. "The guy wants a virgin screwdriver," she said.

"An orange juice?" Danielle repeated incredulously.

"Yeah," Kat muttered. "Geez..."

--Later--

Kat and Danielle served 234 customers...in 20 minutes.

"That is amazing!" said Professor Banner, his eyes like two shifted sixes with a hyphen in between. "We must give you a raise!"

"A raise?!" Kat asked excitedly.

"Of how much!?" Danielle wondered.

"2 cents!" the dueling teacher/apparent fast food store manager informed them with enthusiasm.

"...Dangit..."

"So how much do we have?" Kat asked happily.

"...2 cents." Danielle muttered.

"...Shoot." Kat said.

"That's not enough, huh?" Danielle mused. "Well... maybe we could make money publishing stories!"

"Like that guy? Shigure Sohma? From Fruits Basket?"

"...Um..."

Banner appeared. His eyes were _still _drawn up into arches. "Sorry. You two are in a contract. So, that means, you two must work here," he said. Suddenly, Banner got his white hair and his eyes opened, which were blood red. He got fangs as well.

"**_Forever_**," he finished, then turned into his normal smiley self again.

"..." 'said' Danielle. "...That was hot."

"- -U" Kat sweat dropped.

--In the Kitchen--

The burger grill was on fire. Hiei was screaming like a little girl, and Yugi was blowing on the flames.

"You--sound--like--Sponge--bob--when--you--scream!" Yugi averred loudly and angrily in between huffing and puffing. Professor Banner entered the room.

"NO! Don't blow on the fire! That will just make it--"

Whoosh.

"MY HAIR IS ON FIRE!"

"...Oh dear."

"AHHHHH!" Yugi screamed, his mangled crown of hair scorched. Suddenly, Squirtle appeared and used 'water gun' and put out the fire.

"Thanks Squirtle," Yugi said. Then he did a doubletake. "A SQUIRTLE!?" he cried. "I was saved by a lowly Pok'emon!"

"Rrrr." The Squirtle bit his ankles.

"MY ANKLE!"

"-s," Hiei added. "The narration said it bit your ankles, with an s."

"MY ANKLES!"

"Much better," praised Professor Banner.

Meanwhile, Danielle stole money from the cash register.

"It's easier than working," she murmured to herself.

Kat, in the meantime, was arguing with Chazz Princeton, who said that she got him the wrong order.

"You SAID you wanted a Caesar Salad!" Kat said.

"NO! I said I wanted a Julius Jr.! That's a mini-salad!" Chazz argued. Suddenly a polar bear came in and wiped off his face. Chazz's faceless body stood up, gestured maniacally at Kat, and then seemed to sigh, as if to say, 'You are useless.' Then it ran after the polar bear:) Doesn't this constant plot effort make you feel warm and fuzzy inside??

Kat blinked, then turned and walked over to Danielle. "This place scares me,." she muttered.

"...I think we should quit," Danielle said seriously.

"But what about Ed?"

"...Do we really care about Ed?" Danielle asked.

"Yes," Kat said, making Hiei scream in the kitchen, followed by a 'SHUT UP!' from Yugi.

"...Oh," said Danielle.

"...Yes," Kat said. Both stared at each other.

"Okay then! Besides, he can make me popsicles anytime I want!" Danielle said with a grin. "Abusing alchemy is great!"

"I have 300 acorns in my piggy bank," Hiei said mysteriously. "Maybe we could just throw the acorns at the rodents--"

Orange, in a huff, shocked Yugi. Oh, we didn't mention Orange was even here? Yes, Orange was bussing tables and receiving large tips from girls who thought having a rat clean their table was cute.

"Hm...yeah. And I have over $5, 000.00 in my piggy bank as well!" Kat chirped. Everyone turned wide-eyed at her.

"AND YOU NEVER TOLD US!?" Yugi yelled.

"I thought Danielle-chan would make me use it to pay off the roof," Kat said. "We bought the house without a roof, and we had to order it..."

"...That makes no sense," Hiei pointed out. A piece of shrimp smacked him in the mouth.

"Shrimp!" Hiei said, sucking on the shrimp. Danielle sweatdropped. "So, we basically got jobs for nothing?" she asked. Kat sweatdropped.

"...Yeah, pretty much." she said.

"...So we wore vibrant green uniforms for NOTHING?"

"I thought green was an improvement!" Kat argued. Danielle rolled her eyes, as if to say 'You know NO-THING.'

--At the squirrel hideaway--

Danielle kicked their door down, Kat and Yugi behind her. Hiei stayed in the car.

"...Danielle, we could have just opened the door like normal people." Yugi said.

"...Do I look normal to you?" she asked, one blue eye twitching.

"Uhhh... yes?" Yugi said hopefully.

"Rooooooight." Danielle rolled her eyes, and grabbed a bullhorn. "OKAY! LISTEN UP SQUIRRELIES SQUIRELLETES!"

The squirrels all turned with wide adorable eyes.

"...AW!" Danielle dropped the bullhorn and started smiling the dopey grin of someone who has a basket full of kittens on their lap and can't feel their legs because of the weight. "How cute!"

All of the squirrels took out machine-guns. O.o described the faces of the trio.

"They're not so cute now," Kat gulped.

All of the squirrels holding machine guns put on their cutest looks.

"Now they are!" Danielle crowed happily.

"We're going to die now, you know," Yugi muttered.

"Now we're not! I brought Cheesy Poofs!" Danielle assured him.

"Oh, yay. A fictional snack," Yugi said sarcastically.

Kat sweatdropped. "I never thought I would die while being shot by squirrels and eating Cheesy Poofs," she said.

"Life's funny like that," Danielle observed liltingly.

Kat sweatdropped, then took out the money and acorns and put it near the squirrels.

The squirrels slowly put down their machine guns, except for Pablo.

"No, Pablo, no!" squeaked Pebbles, Pablo's girlfriend. Pablo just glared at Danielle, who had been inadvertently stepping on Pablo's rock garden for months.

"The girl must DIE!" he screamed, and he shot.


	11. Somebody dies!

"Noooooo!" screamed Pebbles. The bullet flew towards Danielle, and smacked against her ankle.

"Owch!" Danielle hissed. "Geez. What did you shoot at me? An acorn?"

Pablo beamed proudly. "A chestnut!" he declared triumphantly. "Take that, harlot!"

Danielle rolled her eyes. "Whatever."

Kat sweatdropped and went to find Ed, Yugi behind her while Danielle and Pablo yelled things at each other.

"I don't even know what I _did_!" Danielle cried, exasperated.

"You smashed my hopes and dreams!" Pablo cried out melodramatically. Danielle sweat dropped.

"...You mean that clutter in front of the basement?" Danielle asked.

Pablo gasped. "You call it _clutter_?!" He was outraged. His tail puffed straight out.

"You guys have a basement?" Ed asked, amazed. Kat sweat dropped and scratched the back of her neck.

"Yeah..."

Yugi blinked. "I didn't know that." he said.

"We use it to store plushies and mangas," Kat said with another sweatdrop.

"Yugi, that's where Prez lives, 'member?" Danielle asked.

"...Oh yeah. The talking shark."

Ed blinked. "A talking shark?" he asked.

Kat sighed. "Yeah. Yugi and Danielle play poker with him on Tuesdays," she said.

"He has a green mouse that works for him!" Danielle explained. "Usually he has to yell at him, so he can't play poker very much."

"Oh," Ed said. Pablo all of a sudden self-destructed.

"NOOOOOO!" screamed Pebbles. She imploded as well.

All of the other squirrels exploded as well. Danielle blinked.

"So...uh...who wants Chinese?" Kat asked.

"ME!" Yugi screeched.

Danielle grinned. "Then spare ribs it is!" Danielle concluded. "Let's go get sushi--I mean, spare ribs or something!"

Everyone cheered and went to the nearest restaurant to buy ribs.

2 days later…

Ed got a call from his brother making him go home. After waving to everyone, he left.

"That was a long stay," Danielle groused. "Everyone who comes here seems to take up residence!" She stabbed a finger at Yugi accusingly. "When was the last time _you_ went home?!"

Yugi blinked, then got a expression of deep thought. "I guess maybe...4 months?" he decided, even though they hadn't even been living in the house maybe a quarter of that amount of time. Danielle slapped her head. "Oi!" she said.

Kat blinked, then looked at Hiei. "What about you!? I'm sure Yusuke and the others miss you!" she said.

Meanwhile...

"Kuwabara, are you throwing another Hiei-is-Gone party?"

"It's not my party!" Kuwabara said fearfully. "It's Eikichi! He... he likes to booze."

"Riiiiiight." Botan rolled her eyes.

Back to the house that has a talking shark named Prez in its basement...

Kat sweatdropped. "Wait, I think they're glad you're gone," she said.

"Well, do you want me to leave?" Yugi asked, a bit hurt.

"Well... I bet your mom misses you."

"They cut her out of the American anime. Half the fans don't even know she exists."

"...Good point." Danielle sweat dropped.

"Yeah...I bet your friends and Grandpa miss you!" Kat said.

Yugi blinked. "I guess..."

"We could take a trip to Domino," suggested Danielle.

"...What if Pegasus is having a sleepover at Duke's again?"

"o.o Nani?"

"Nothing," Yugi said quickly. "Nothing at all... (cough) Barbie dolls (cough)."

Kat blinked. "Okay..." she said. Yugi's eyes then lit up.

"Well, Tea's there," he said hopefully. Yugi didn't even notice the demonic look Danielle got on her face. Kat did, and she backed away.

"_Maybe_ we should visit _Hiei_'s friends instead!" she said huffily.

Hiei shrugged. "Sure, whatever."

"It's settled then," Danielle seethed.

Yugi blinked and Kat sweatdropped. "I also heard that the guy that pairs with you in my fanfic is there too," Kat said.

Danielle blinked. "You mean that sarcastic, murderous psycho that's in that story of yours?" she asked.

Kat nodded. "Yup. He's taking a vacation there," she said.

Yugi growled. "What. Was. That!?" he...well...growled.

"I dunno," Danielle said. "Some Full Metal Alchemist guy. Hardly know him. I bet his hair's not as cool as yours," she said, trying to placate Yugi.

Kat took out a pic that showed his hair is like that of a palmtree. "I like it. And he shows his belly," she said.

"Like Malik does?" Yugi asked, baffled. "Why do people do that? It's... gross... and it would show their belly button piercing."

"...Why do you say that?" Hiei asked. "Do you have one of these 'belly-button piercings'?" Hiei leaned close to Yugi, a half-lidded look of amusement on his face. "Hmmmm?" he asked.

"N-No..." Yugi stammered. Kat raised an eyebrow. She then lifted up Yugi's shirt, which showed...GASP! 3 piercings!

"...Those look expensive," Danielle remarked.

"...I used my Duelist Kingdom winnings to buy these," Yugi admitted. "They're worth more than the Millennium Puzzle!"

"I doubt that," said Yami, who was coming down the stairs.

Kat blinked. "When did you get them done?" she asked.

"Last month. Mokuba did them for me," Yugi replied.

"So..." Danielle paused. "Let's go meet this... uh..." Danielle squinted at the scribbled name underneath the picture. "Envy..."

MEANWHILE, where Envy was...

Envy was thinking on how pathetic humans were as he watched a drunk Yusuke singing loudly with a sweatdrop.

"Why are you here?" he wondered.

"I'm your roommate," Yusuke pointed out blithely.

"...Why?"

"You need money for the rent," Yusuke pointed out.

"Bah."

Back at the house...or basically, the car, since that's where Danielle and the others were...

"Why are we going to visit this Envy person?" Yugi asked. (Dare we say he was envious? ...Nah, that's too much of a pun.)

"Because," Danielle said, "Kat paired me with him in a silly fan fiction she wrote, and I don't even know if he's making enough money to support me and the five children I wanna have!"

"...I'm sorry I asked."

Kat sweatdropped and was about to get into the driver's seat, when she was pushed into the back with Yugi.

"I'm driving," Danielle said nastily.

"...Don't freak out," Kat said sweat dropping.

"I WANT TO DRIVE!" Danielle yelled. "...Um, which way are we going?"

Suddenly, a chipmunk leapt onto the car. Kat started to scream. The chipmunk took out a wand, and divined the way for Danielle. A trail of floating M&Ms marked the path they were to take. "Arigatou!" Danielle shouted. The chipmunk, who didn't understand Japanese, was very distressed over Danielle's ungratefulness.

3 hours later...

The rain was pouring down. "Anybody know any good car games?" Yugi asked wearily. "Even though I'll win them. 'Cuz I'm the King of Games."

Kat was counting the raindrops on the car window. Hiei was playing with his headband, and Danielle was yelling about the stupid rain.

...Which was bad, since she should've been paying attention.

"Haven't we passed that green elephant before?" Hiei said, fidgeting with his headpiece some more.

"I'm just following the M&M's," Danielle said.

"Danielle, we've been going around in circles." Yugi said.

"But there are still M&Ms!" Danielle exclaimed. Yugi squinted through the sheets of rain.

"Danielle, these are Skittles!" Yugi cried. Kat groaned. "You've been going the wrong way!"

"Shimatta," Danielle growled. Suddenly, they ran over a huge bump in the road.

"OWWWWWWWWWWW!" screamed somebody/thing.

Yugi threw his hands up. "And now we've probably killed some guy!!!" he yelled. Danielle stopped the car to go see who the person is and if he was alright.

"It's a_ girl_, Yugi," Danielle said with a sigh. "Don't be so politically incorrect."

Yugi blinked at Danielle form the car. "Is it Fefe Dobson?" he asked hopefully.

"No, it's... Rabi En Rose!" Danielle announced.

Silence.

"Y'know, the girl from Di Gi Charat?"

More silence.

"Whatever. Hiei, get out and help me carry her into the car. She's gonna have to go to a hospital," Danielle decided.

Hiei shrugged and helped Danielle.

--3 hours and one hospital trip later…--

"We're still lost!" Yugi announced.

"Take me home," Rabi en Rose growled.

"Shut up," Hiei snapped.

"Meguru meguru toki no naka de!" Danielle sang. She had her headphones on and was ignoring all but the road. Or maybe just all.

Kat looked out the window and got wide eyed. "Danielle!! You missed the turn off! Turn around!" she said.

"WHAT!?" Danielle yelled. Yugi growled and grabbed the steering wheel.

"She said TURN AROUND!!!!" he yelled, turning the car a sharp left, sending Hiei and Rabi en Rose to collide into Kat, who was smushed against the car door from the blow.

"Don't grab the wheel!" Danielle squealed.

The car was turning around in circles.

"WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!!" Kat screamed.

"Bokutachi wa ai o sagashite iru!" Danielle cried plaintively, still singing along to the song. It was then that... he appeared.

"Inuyasha, watch out!"

SCREECH.

CRASH!!!!!!!

Danielle braked just in time to miss the half-demon by half an inch. Unfortunately, she had hit a tree.

"Sorry, Bokuseno," Danielle apologized before backing up.

"Whatever," the magnolia tree replied grumpily.

Inuyasha mumbled something about 'stupid humans' before leaping away. Kat was in a fetal position.

"Are we dead?" she meeped.

"Inuyasha!!" Kagome came running out from behind the trees. "Are you al... hey!" Kagome waved to Danielle. "I haven't seen you around WacDonald's anymore!"

Danielle shrugged. "Quit," was all she said.

"HEY!" Inuyasha bristled. "What about me?!"

--5 more minutes and an emotional Inuyasha later—

Danielle got directions from a random gas station. "We have to follow the Reese's Pieces now," she told the gang, who shrugged.

"Why not Snickers?" wondered Yugi, who was hungry.

"We can stop at a burger joint on the way there, ok?" Danielle promised. Getting behind the wheel again, her stomach rumbled. "Eheh..."

Kat was chomping on rice balls, while everyone looked at them hungrily.

"Danielle, look at the road," Kat scowled.

"Gomen."

After another 30 minutes, they reached their destination. Yugi, as soon as he got out of the car, began to kiss the ground.

"BURGER WORLD!" he screamed out.

"Envy lives near Domino City?" Kat wondered.

Danielle's stomach growled with the force of a hurricane. People across the street stopped to stare.

"No... I was just hungry," she explained.

"Ah."

Everyone then walked into Burger World, where they saw a sight so horrible, so terrifying, it made Danielle scream in terror.

...It was Tea.

Yugi grinned. "Hi Tea!" he greeted congenially. Tea looked at him, astonished.

"YUGI!" She ran and hugged him. "I haven't seen you in forever! --Where's Yami?" she wondered.

"He's taking care of my girlfriend and her friend's house?"

"Why's he taking care of your girlfriend?" Tea asked, showing Yugi to a booth after forgetting to even greet the rest of the customers.

"No... he's taking care of the house my girlfriend shares with her friends. My girlfriend's right here." Yugi motioned towards Danielle. "It's nice seeing you again, Tea."

Tea's blue eyes rose and met Danielle's blue eyes. Both of them narrowed just a bit.

"Hello, Tea," Danielle said politely.

"Hello, Yugi's girlfriend," Tea said kind-of politely.

"I sense tension," Hiei whispered to Kat.

"Why are ya whisperin'?" Kat wondered. "It's pretty obvious!"

During the first five minutes, Tea and Danielle kept glaring at each other as Tea took their orders. Yugi and Hiei ordered mega burgers, while Kat ordered a salad and curly fries.

"I want something... without fat," Danielle challenged. Tea's eyes widened.

"U-um..." Tea shook a bit. "We don't... serve anything without fat."

The entire restaurant collaborated in a collective gasp.

"NOTHING WITHOUT FAT?!" an insaaaaaaanely skinny woman cried. "That's an outrage!"

Kat blinked. "But I ordered a salad. That doesn't have fat," she said.

"You've never seen our salads before, have you?" Tea asked nervously. Just then, a boy came in carrying a tray of salads to be delivered to the people next to them. A _glob_ of cookie dough jiggled atop the delicate lettuce.

Kat twitched and almost began to vomit.

Danielle stood up and grabbed everyone.

"We're out of here." she announced, walking out the door.

"But--But--" Yugi reached for Tea. "I'm going through friendship withdrawal!" he wailed.

Everyone stopped and stared at him.

**_"What?"_**

Danielle sighed and hoisted Yugi on her back and walked away whistling.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Yugi struggled. "Need--friendship--speeches!"

Tea's eyes narrowed into slits. "Come back here!" she demanded.

They all piled in the car and drove off, Tea chasing after them.

"I NEED THE SPEECHES!!!" Yugi screamed. Kat growled in his face.

"PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER MAN!!!" she yelled.

"NO!" he said. Kat smacked him across the face. "...Thanks Kat..." Yugi rubbed his cheeks. "I don't know what came over me."

Kat nodded. "Anytime," she said.

--Later--

"Are we there yet?" Hiei whined.

"I'm still hungry," Danielle growled, glaring at Yugi as if the fault was his. "And, no."

"If you're hungry," Yugi suggested, "you could get out of the car and eat those Reese's Pieces."

Everyone stopped. "Nah," they said, "too logical."

Kat was banging her head against the car window.

"Is that the tune of Nine Inch Nails you're banging that to?" Yugi wondered.

"...I've got it!" Hiei said. "I know a car game!"

"Yeah?" everyone said.

Hiei explained, "I started, and I say an anime character's name that starts with an 'A.' Then Kat, and she says somebody's name that starts with a 'B'. Then 'C', 'D', and so on."

"...Can you win this game?" Yugi wondered.

"Yeah, if you can't think of a name, you're out," Hiei stated proudly.

"Ok!" Yugi lilted, happy to be playing a game.

Kat smiled.

"Anzu," Hiei began.

"Her name is Tea," Yugi said, exasperated, but Danielle shushed him.

"Bobasa," said Kat.

"Chihiro."

"Daichi."

"Eikichi," said Hiei.

"Squirrel."

"That starts with an S, Kat," Yugi admonished.

"No--SQUIRREL!"

Danielle slammed on the brakes again.

The poor squirrel squealed in fright.

Meanwhile...

"Thanks for helping me with this, Bakura," Yami said gratefully.

"No problem," Bakura said, the grimace on his face saying that there sure was a problem.

Music played, and Yami began to sing a song from Wicked.

"Nothing comes from nothing/nothing ever could/so somewhere in my youth or childhood/I must have done something good," he sang.

Bakura sighed, and began to reply, "For here you are, standing there, loving me, whether or not you--Yami, I feel gay!"

"That's nice."

"I can't do this!"

"Aw, you promised!" Yami groaned.

"This is stupid!"

Back in the car...

"Where's Kat?!" Yugi yelled, startled. Where Kat had sat, only wisps of darkness sat.

"O.O She must have lost a Shadow Game!" Yugi decried.

"...The name game is a Shadow Game?" Hiei wondered.

"Not really Yugi... she had to go to the bathroom, and so we stopped at that gas station and..." Danielle said.

Silence…

"OO KAT!!!!!!" Danielle yelled.

"What?" answered someone who was sitting in Kat's seat.

"You're not Kat!" Danielle shouted, pointing at... Michael Jackson.

"AAAAAAAAH!" Danielle floored the gas pedal.

Yugi, who didn't wear a seatbelt, crashed into Danielle's seat and was knocked out. Hiei then turned to the readers.

"So, remember kids...always wear a seatbelt!" Hiei said with a smile, before turning and crying, "Why are we leaving Kat?"

"Kat's in the Shadow Realm!" Yugi argued.

Michael Jackson, sensing even _he _was out of his strange element, disapparated in classic Harry Potter fashion.

At the rest stop...

Kat was playing Go fish with Zane.

"You lose," she said.

"But I'm the top duelist at Duelist Academy!" Zane argued.

"- -# Dude, this isn't Duel Monsters."

"Oh."

Suddenly, a car went crashing through the station, Danielle behind the wheel.

"AAAAAAAAAAH!" She was still screaming.

"What's wrong?" Kat asked.

"AAAAAH!"

"Are you--"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"- - URUSAI!" Kat said. Now, contrary to popular belief, 'urusai' does not mean 'shut up.' It means 'noisy'. And Danielle certainly was.

Yugi smacked Danielle across the face.

Danielle swore, and gave Yugi the noogie of his life.

"Very lady-like," Hiei commented.

"Indeed," Danielle snapped.

Kat blinked at all of this. "Um..." she said. Zane took this moment to frolic out of the airport and into heavy traffic.

"We were in an airport?" Yugi asked.

"No, no... typo... it's a gas station, isn't it?"

"If it's an airport, couldn't we just _fly _to see--"

"It's not an airport!" Danielle rolled her eyes. While Yugi and she had been discussing this, Zane had been hit by a car! Luckily, it was one of those weird-looking Smart Cars, which are fairly tiny, and it had been going fairly slow. This did not stop Zane from twitching and on the road.

Kat blinked. "Then why does it say airport on the building?" she asked, pointing upwards.

Danielle and Yugi looked up.

"Hm...so it does," Danielle said.

--back in the car--

Everything was as normal as anything got around there.

"Hey! This is the place!" Hiei shouted happily, pointing at the city, which seemed to sparkle with heavenly light. The song 'Hallelujah' played in the background.

"...This place looks really grungy," Danielle remarked.

"Oh hush," Yugi said, moody because of who they were going to visit, who he'd been dragged away from, and who was probably going to dump him for someone with long hair.

Danielle turned around and peered at her anime bf. "You okay Yugikun?" she asked.

"WATCH THE ROAD!" Hiei screamed suddenly.

"...Oh, hush. The chapter's ending now. Nothing can harm us now."

"...What?" Hiei asked.

Danielle shrugged. "I don't know. Let's keep going," she said, just before a large, large shadow fell over the car.

Chapter 12

"Is that a UFO?" Yugi asked quizzically. "It's not UFO season..."

"No...it's big..." Kat said.

"And tall..." Hiei said.

"And...has hair like a palmtree?" Danielle said with a blink.

"...I thought it said 'Chapter 12,'" Yugi said. "Why are we still in Chapter 11?"

"I don't remember UFOs being so... humanoid," Danielle remarked.

Kat blinks. "This is getting weird," she remarked. The shadow suddenly vanished into light blue sparkly stuffs and the car kept going, passing a sign that said: "You are now within Chapter 12. Have a nice day."

Danielle blinked. "Oh. I might've said that I wouldn't end this chapter until--" She passed out.

"That's a good ending," Hiei said, smiling.

"...We're still in chapter 11," Yugi said fearfully. "I... am so... confused!"

"Y'all fake/y'all fake/y'all fake/y'all fake--er... oh, yeah. Spooky." Kat turned down the radio.

"...Who's driving the car?" Yugi wondered.

The crashed into a giant foot.

"Ooh, this would be a good chapter ending too!" Hiei said optimistically.

"But we're still in the 11th chapter!!" Kat yelled. She tossed Danielle's unconscious self in the backseat and drove past the foot.

"This is insane!!" Yugi wailed. The car suddenly took a stop at some building.

"Hm… that's a good ending too," Hiei mused.

"Hush," Kat said. "I'm gonna go in this building and see if I can look up Envy's address in the phone book."

"...There's a book about phones?" Hiei asked curiously. Yugi punched him in the shoulder. Hiei tried to rip his face off.

"I'm coming with you!!" Yugi screamed, tears running down his face as he chased after Kat.

"THAT'LL TEACH YOU TO BE BUDDY-BUDDY WITH ME!" Hiei screamed rabidly. "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, MY FRIEND OR SOMETHING!? ...Oh... wait... Sorry!"

Silent Hill music played in the background as Kat flipped through a dusty phone book. "Ah! here it is! Envy is-" Kat suddenly passed out.

"NO!! Not you too!!" Yugi cried.

The music mounted and then, with a creepy crescendo, twittered into nothing. Yugi shook like a leaf.

"Two unconscious friends, and a demon left in the car." Yugi sighed. "Well, maybe this Envy person can... h-h... h-help?"

Suddenly, the entire four-story building began to shake and rock back and forth.

"Shoot!" Yugi huddled close to the ground. "I don't wanna die! And I'm pretty sure Yami doesn't want a dead host, either!"

"Oh, calm down," a voice said behind him. Yugi turned to see...Yugi!?

"Huh???" Yugi yelled. 'Yugi' rolled his eyes.

"Humans get scared so easily," he said as he suddenly transformed...into a familiar green haired guy who showed his belly.

"Envy!?" Yugi yelled, recognizing him from the picture.

"Hi," Envy said unceremoniously. "Do you know of a good burger joint around here?" the immortal one asked. Yugi thought of Burger World.

"Nope," he said. "We were going to look for one in town."

"Good." Envy lifted up Kat. "I'll come with you."

Yugi blinked. "Do you even know us?"

Envy growled. Yugi backed away quickly.

Outside, Envy put Kat in the backseat and got up in the driver's seat, Hiei glaring at him the whole time for touching 'his Kat'.

"Do you even know how to drive?" Yugi asked. Envy gave him a lidded glance.

"I've been around for 4 centuries. I think I know how to drive," he said, starting up the car.

"Oh," Yugi said sadly, "then I guess you could drive Danielle places."

"Who's Danielle?" Envy asked, not taking his eyes off the road. Yugi pointed to the unconscious brunette, who was leaning against the car door and drooling on the window. Hiei rolled his eyes and pushed her over, so she could drool on her jeans instead.

"I can't see her. I'm driving," Envy said. Yugi was stunned by such… such… _responsibility._ His brain threatened to explode. Then it did.

"THAT would be a cool ending," Hiei opined. Yugi glared at him.

"My brain didn't really explode, baka," Yugi said. "I can't believe we're trapped in this chapter!"

Envy sighed and mumbled words as he drove perfectly, not too fast, not too slow. Yugi was ready to sob.

'He drives so perfectly! But… I'm sure Danielle would hate his choice of music,' Yugi thought.

"So...Envy...what kind of music do you like?" Yugi asked.

"...Angry music," Envy said.

"...Why doesn't God like me, Envy?" Yugi wondered aloud. Envy shot him an odd glance--that's when the tree leapt out in front of the car.

"I don't want to live anymore!" Bokuseno screamed.

Envy swerved the car in a weirdly perfect manner, missing the tree.

"NOOOO!!!!! COME BACK!! I WANT TO DIE!!!!!" Bokuseno screamed.

Yugi cried. "This chapter is getting weirder each second!!" he screamed.

Bokuseno, tired of his Sesshomaru-advising existence, sighed sadly as only a tree could.

"Well, now what?" he wondered. "My plan to throw myself in front of a car to avoid Sesshomaru, like that care bear avoided Meg in Family Guy, failed miserably... I'm gonna go watch That 70's Show." And he picked up his roots and did.

--In the car!--

"When will this chapter end?" Yugi groaned.

"Isn't it for those two to decide?" Hiei asked, pointing at the two unconscious authoresses.

"Yeah. So unless we wake them up, we'll be trapped in Chapter 11 forever." Yugi sighed.

"Why is it up to those two to decide?" Envy wondered.

"Because... they're just really special." Yugi didn't bother to elaborate, pulling his legs up onto the seat with him and hugging his knees. "Like... diamond rings, or Parkay butter."

"Parkay butter isn't special," Hiei edited.

"Whatever." Yugi sighed.

"...Dude, you really need a break," Hiei pointed out.

"Well I can't take one until the chapter ends!" Yugi wailed.

A mumble from the backseat caused Hiei and Yugi to turn around.

"The chapter will end..." the voice mumbled.

The boys leaned in.

"...when the fat lady sings," Kat finished before passing out.

"...Where we gonna find a fat lady?" Yugi said.

Meanwhile, Ms. Dorothy was trying to fit into a Dark Magician Girl costume again.

They finally drove up to some diner, and Envy got out of the car elegantly.

"Think we should just leave them here?" he asked, pointing at Danielle and Kat.

Yugi shrugged. "Sure."

--A yummy meal later--

"That was a yummy meal," Hiei opined.

"...Let's go buy Duel Monsters cards," Yugi decided, "for Yami."

Envy shrugged. "Whatever," he said.

As they started to walk off, a shaggy little boy attacked Envy.

"HI ENVY!!!!!" he screamed hyperly. Hiei and Yugi looked bewildered. Envy sighed.

"This is my 'little brother' Wrath…" he said in annoyance. Yugi just gaped at the Mokuba look-alike.

"Man, lots of characters are being introduced here," Hiei muttered.

"Yeah." Just then, Yugi started to barf. Not only that... guess who he barfed on?

Danielle cracked open one eye, only to have an acidic soquid leak into her eye.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" she screamed. "I NEED RUNNING WATER!" She leapt to her feet, hit her head on the car roof, slammed into the car door, and then jumped out the open window, scraping her stomach against the partially-rolled down window.

"O.o Are you okay!?" Yugi said.

"Omigosh, we haven't had faces in here in like forever..." Hiei rubbed his chin, in deep cerebration. "Does that mean we're being more serious?"

"THERE'S VOMIT IN MY EYE!!"

"Nope," Hiei concluded swiftly.

Kat suddenly sat up, hearing the noise. "Who the-" she started to say, only to be tackled by the shaggy haired psycho... namely, Wrath.

"KAT-CHAN! MY LOVE!!!" he screeched. Hiei growled. "Why is every single male character in this fic hitting on my girlfriend!?" he yelled. Yugi just barfed more.

Kat blinked at the 'affection' she was getting, namely being squeezed to death by a kid who probably hadn't washed his hair in months.

"THERE'S VOMIT IN MY EYE!" Danielle reiterated panickedly.

Yugi then threw a bucket of soapy water on Danielle. "There you go. No more vomit," he said.

Awkward silence...

"IT BURNS!!!!!!!" Danielle screamed, getting soap in her eye. Envy sighed and took out a cloth, wiping the stuff from Danielle's eye.

"There," he said.

"...Thank you," Danielle said abashedly. Her left eye was puffy and red. She turned to Yugi. "Why did you vomit on me?" she demanded.

"Accident," Yugi said. "I don't feel so good..."

Danielle rolled her eyes. "We're a pair, aren't we?" she laughed.

Yugi nodded appreciatively. Danielle turned to the man/pineapple.

"Thank you for helping me with my eye," she said again, "Mr..."

"That's Envy," Kat said.

Danielle blinked. She tilted her head at an angle and regarded him. "Oh," she said.

Envy blinked, seeing that they thought his hair looked like a pineapple now.

'Well... it's better then palmtree,' he thought.

"Nice to meet you... whoever you are…" Envy said lowly. Kat grinned.

"..." Danielle searched for something to say.

"Bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeech." Yugi had thrown up all over the ground again. Pink soquid splashed/clumped against the car's tires and only Danielle's shoes--which was amazing, because those were in opposite directions.

"Yugi!" Danielle ran and gave Yugi a big hug. "Are you going to be okay? Maybe we should bring you to a doctor." She looked up. "Let's go! We need to find a doctor, now!"

"TO THE HOSPITAL!!!" Kat yelled.

--Hospital--

"That was fast," Envy remarked, seeing that they got to the hospital in 2.11 seconds.

"Hello," said the doctor. "My name is Dr. Ono Tofu. What seems to be wrong with the patient? ...Why are you staring at me like that?" Dr. Tofu asked Danielle.

"Aren't you a chiropractor?" she asked.

Dr. Tofu nodded. "Yes, but usually I'm working on boy-girls that get beat up every day by boys, girls, pig-boys, etc, etc..."

Danielle nodded understandingly. "My friend keeps puking," she said, pointing to Yugi, who was beginning to look green again and whose face was quite flushed.

"Must be negative ch'i," Dr. Tofu said. "I'll fix this."

He took Yugi into another room. That's when the screams began.

"NOO!!!!! DON'T TOUCH MEEE!" Yugi screamed. The sound of a chainsaw was heard, and then silence.

Everyone stood there bewildered.

"Is Yugi alright?" Kat asked worried-like.

A piercing scream echoed the hospital.

Danielle shuddered. "That's almost as scary as the movie 'The Descent.' And THAT was a scary movie. Holy cow..."

Suddenly, the door opened. A cow mosied in, then stood on its back hooves and glowered at Danielle.

"You got something to say to me!?" it demanded.

"Er... no," Danielle stuttered.

"FINE!" The cow left, its huge rump swaggering behind it.

"...That was weird," Envy remarked.

Hiei rolled his eyes. "You have much to learn about our lives," he said.

"Yeah, this is a day to day thing," Kat said, who was still in the death grip of the happy Wrath.

The Doctor then walked out. "Well, I've got some good news and horrible news," he said.

"Give us the good news first," Danielle instructed.

"I fixed your friends puking problem," Dr. Tofu announced. Yugi's friend's cheered.

"But the bad news is... he's dead," Dr. Tofu said.

The cheers ceased.

"This would be a great place to end the chapter," Hiei mused.

"He's DEAD!?" Danielle screamed.

End of chapter!

_Please review!_


	12. TEH RESSURECTION OF TEH YUGI 11one

"Yeah...sorry about that," the doctor said.

"Hey, we're in chapter 12 now...awesome!" Hiei cheered. He was met with glares.

Danielle seemed to be in shock. Envy blinked. "...Danielle?" he asked.

"H-he," she hiccuped, "he never even got to see Chapter 12... WAAAAAAAAAAAH!" She grabbed Hiei's shirt and clung to it. Kat would've been jealous, but she just stared at Dr. Tofu wordlessly.

"..." Envy stared at the saddened people around him. "Mortals," he sighed.

"Yeah... sorry about that," Dr. Tofu said. Kat twitched.

"Sorry? SORRY? You killed Danielle's boyfriend and all you can say is SORRY!?" she screamed, getting red eyes and fangs. Wrath stared at her all sparkly eyed.

"She's even more beautiful when she's mad," he sighed.

Hiei pat Danielle on the head. "There there," he said. Doctor Tofu shrugged.

"Hey, can't save them all right?" he said.

"You DOLT! He probably just had a stomach virus! HE--YUGI!" Kat screamed, falling over backwards.

Yugi's ghost was floating above Dr. Tofu's head, flicking Envy off. "Oh... you can see me?" he asked embarrassedly.

"YUGI!" Danielle flung herself at the deceased, but she went right through him and crashed into Dr. Tofu. "You're not Yugi," she growled at the quack.

"Eheh... nope." Ono Tofu was thinking that this was probably a great time for him to leave.

And so he did.

"Uhh... hey guys." Yugi's ghost said in an echoing voice.

"Y-You're a ghost!! ...Cool!" Kat yelled.

"_NOT _cool!" Danielle vociferated. "I can't hug him!"

Yugi's ghost sweatdropped. "So...any chance on bringing me back?" he asked.

Kat blinked. "Uh...we're gonna need your body first if we're gonna bring you back," she said.

Dr Tofu poked his head in. "Oh, we threw his body in the dumpster," he said.

"YOU WHAT!?" Danielle screamed.

"What kind of hospital is this?" Envy said with a blink.

"Brookhaven Hospital," Dr. Tofu said. Danielle gasped.

"WE'RE IN A HOSPITAL FROM SILENT HILL!" she screamed. "Spooky things abound! We better grab Yugi's body before spooky things drag him under!"

--After they do that--

"Why do I have to hold the body?" Hiei asked, holding Yugi's corpse. Envy shrugged and kept on driving.

"Okay so... how do we bring him back to life?" Kat asked.

"I don't know," Danielle moaned. "How did they bring Kenny back in South Park?"

"Um..."

"What about Chef?" she wondered.

"They turned into Chef Vader," Yugi pointed out. "I'd have to be alive for that."

"Right... well... maybe Yami knows!" Danielle said.

Meanwhile...

"SING, YAMI!"

"No," Yami said flatly.

Bakura shrugged. "Fine," he said. Unpausing the CD, he began to rap, "And what's a little bit of alcohol poisonin'?/And what's a little fight, tomorrow you'll be boys again/It's your life, live it however you wanna."

"This rap song is stupid," Yami said. A sudden sickening feeling came over him, as if he had a dead rat in his stomach. "Yu...!" Yami puked all over the floor. Bakura tripped over the pink liquid and fell to the floor, his elbow painfully slamming against the floor.

"OWWWWWWWWW!" Bakura swore. "My weenus!"

"...You mean your elbow, right?" Yami said, sweat dropping. "Oh Ra... I don't feel so good..."

Bakura yelled in pain as Yami vomited up more. Suddenly, the door was kicked open, and in came everyone with Yugi's body. How they got there in 12 seconds...

...the world may never know.

"Hey Ya-" Kat started to say, only to slip on the pink stuff and slide around.

"KAT!!!!!' Wrath and Hiei yelled. Both then glared at each other.

Envy shrugged. "Who are these people?" he asked, pointing to Bakura and Yami. Bakura stood up, trying to brush the sticky pink stuff off his host's school uniform.

"I am the king of thieves," Bakura introduced. He then pointed to the barfing boy. "And this is my slave, Yami."

Envy nodded respectfully towards Bakura, hardly giving Yami a second glance or any glance at all.

Later, Kat threw Yami into a bathroom with a grunt of disgust.

"Yuck," she said.

"Kat... we kind of need him for getting Yugi back," Danielle said.

Kat blinked. "...Oh. So we do," she said.

Danielle sighed as she opened up the door. "Yami?" she called out, only to punctuate the name with a scream.

"YAMI!!!!"

The King of Games' head had bashed against the sink, and was beginning to bleed heavily.

Danielle swore loudly. "NO!" she screamed.

Kat peeked in and saw what she had done. "Oops," she said guiltily. "To the hospital... again."

--At Domino Hospital--

"He'll be fine," a doctor opined to the two girls. Both had tears streaming down their face.

"What do we do now?" Danielle asked Kat.

Kat took a deep gulp and said:

"We eat chocolate and wait until he's better," she said, making Danielle fall over.

"What are you guys doing here?"

Both turned to see... Ed!

"O.O We should ask you the same thing," Kat said, pointing at Ed who sweatdropped.

Ed blanched. "Well, Al's armor broke. Apparently it was a medical emergency," he said. "And you?"

Danielle started sobbing: "WAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Okay, so maybe it was more like wailing.

"Yugi's dead," Kat sighed.

Ed's eyes bulged.

"What?" he asked. Danielle promptly resumed sobbing.

"H-How?!" Ed asked. Kat shrugged.

"Who knows. And right now Yami isn't in fantastic shape," she said with a sigh. Ed sweatdropped.

"Wow..." he breathed.

"Yeah... and we're getting all angsty." Danielle sighed. "We need to go do some karaoke or something."

"Yeah..." Kat said. All three looked at each other.

--Karaoke Bar 10 minutes later--

Danielle is singing an Eminem song like Bakura had been earlier while Kat drinks ice tea and Ed flips through a songbook.

"I love karaoke!" Kat cheered.

Yugi appeared next to Kat, a grumpy frown apparent on his translucent face. "And what about _me?"_ he demanded.

Kat sweat dropped. "Uh... what should we do?" she asked. "I mean, we really don't know what to do..."

"You could always try human transmutation..." Yugi said. Kat gave him a glance.

"And end up like Ed and have automail? No way," Kat said, making Ed sweatdrop.

"Thanks Kat. You really know how to make a guy feel good," he said sarcastically, making Kat give him a nervous smile.

"Is there anyone around who knows how to make a girl feel/how to make a girl feel/make her feel good," sang Danielle. Yugi smiled.

"We could go to China and look for a spring of drowned live person," Yugi said.

"That's dumb," Ed pointed out.

"Um… then what?" Yugi asked.

"Um...use black magic?" Kat suggested. Ed sweatdropped.

Danielle still kept singing, and Yugi was looking all googly at her.

"Well, if worst comes to worst you could become 'Yugi the friendly ghost'." Kat suggested, making Yugi glare at her.

"What about..." Yugi's eyes shone, and mystical music played behind him, "Shadi? Surely he would have an idea."

"Maybe," Kat agreed. The mystical music began to swell optimistically. "We should ask him."

Ed looked at them both strangely. "Who's Shadi?" he asked.

--Later--

"Hello. I am Shadi," said Shadi.

"Hi," said Ed.

"Wazzup man?" Yugi's ghost asked.

"Not much my short friend." Shadi said, running a hand through his invisible hair. Shadi then realized Yugi was a ghost.

"...Is there something you need to tell me?" he asked.

"Nah," Yugi joked. "Just out of curiosity, though, how would you bring a dead person back to life if you happened to still have their body?"

Shadi looked at the apparition. "...I would mumble the sacred chant, and POOF! It would be done," he said.

Yugi clapped his hands together. They produced no sound. "Great," he said. "Can I book a chant, then?"

"...I need an animal sacrifice, though."

Everyone in the room blinked.

"...For the Gods," Shadi elucidated.

Everyone in the room blinked again.

Ed looked outside, and saw a dead squirrel on the road. He grabs it and brings it inside.

"Will this work?" he asked.

Shadi nodded. "Sure," he said.

"I don't believe in these silly Gods," Danielle mumbled. "Trying to keep me from my Yugi..."

Shadi began waving his hands around, and a dark cloud swirled around Yugi. Lightning struck everywhere.

"Does it have to be so dramatic?" Ed mumbled.

The clouds then cleared… and there stood a very much alive Yugi, blinking.

"That was way too easy," he said.

"Meh, I can live with that," Ed said to his friend.

"YUUUUUUGI!" Insert mega-glomp here, from both Danielle AND Kat, who was glad to see her friend alive.

Ed blinked. "Yugi's a pimp!" he said. "Maybe I should try a hand at this dying thing..."

Kat sweatdrops. "Then all Ed fangirls around the world will glomp you when you're resurrected." she said. Ed sweatdropped as well.

"I'd be crushed." he said.

"Yup." Kat said. Yugi was being crushed at this moment.

"Can't...breathe..." he gasped.

"Don't... care..." Danielle answered. "I am _so _glad that you are back! Kya!"

Kat sweatdropped.

--Back at the house 2 hours later--

"So...you're staying over?" Danielle asked.

Ed sweatdropped. "This is the nearest house to the hospital since Al's still there." he said.

Kat sweatdropped as well. "Man, Danielle was right. As soon as someone steps into this house they take residence here…" she mumbled.

"Hai." Danielle sighed, then smiled at Ed. The dusty sunlight filtered through her hair. "But as long as Yugi-kun is alright for now, I suppose we can let you stay. Just don't rile Hiei-kun up too much," she said.

"WHO'S THERE?!" Hiei said, coming out in a bath towel and wielding a rubber ducky.

Everyone stared.

And then a car crashed through the wall.


End file.
